Beyond Valentine’s: Showing Your Wife Love Year-Round

Valentine’s is over. But the need for your wife to know you love her is not.

Husband surprising his wife with flowers

This week, buy her flowers or candy. Send her a loving text. Take her out for the evening, or serve her breakfast in bed. Do this no matter what you did or did not do for Valentine’s.

It means even more when it’s not expected.

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Valentine’s Day: Navigating Love and Expectation

Here it comes again, guys, that day known as Valentine’s Day.

Dislike it, hate it, or fear it, it’s a fact of life. You can’t run from it, and ignoring it is not a good plan.

A man going all out for Valentine's Day.

I know some of you fear you can’t get it right, and some of you know from experience that you can’t. But that doesn’t mean you should do nothing. Make a reasonable loving gesture, because it’s the right and loving thing to do.

BTW, expecting sex on V-day when it’s never happened in the past is setting yourself up for disappointment and your marriage for frustration. If you want to be proactive, tell her you think it should be a sex free day. What’s the worst that could happen?

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Because You Love Her ALL.THE.TIME!

So, Valentine’s has come and gone. Maybe you managed to show your love to your wife well, maybe you didn’t. But regardless, you love her just as much today as you did six days ago, right?

Woman holding a heart after Valentine's Day with raising fist showing victory.

Sometime this week, buy her flowers, or chocolates, or take her out, or give her a long back rub. Show her you don’t need a holiday to express your love.

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A Day To Speak Your Love

Whatever else you do for Valentine’s today, please take a moment to verbally express your love for your wife. Tell her you love her, and tell her the wonderful things she does. Think about what to say, and rehearse if necessary.

Loving couple talking in bed

Doing this while looking deep into her eyes is great if you can do that. But in the dark as you snuggle her to sleep is good too.

A post worth reading:

The Hero Husband Project | 5 Ways to Slay It on Valentine’s Day ◄ Based on the five love languages. 

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A Different Kind Of Valentine’s Gift

Lori and I don’t generally exchange gifts on holidays these days. Aside from a meal out together, a card or a candy bar, that’s about it. But this year I’m giving her a gift, and I am going to encourage you to give the same gift.

Cheerful man cleaning bathroom at home.

I’m going to clean the bathroom. I don’t mean tidy up and wipe the counter, I mean scrub it.

Ideally do this while your wife is away from home, or busy elsewhere in the house, so she won’t catch you doing it. Leave a bow on the mirror.

A post worth reading:

The Hero Husband Project | The Best Valentine’s Gift (and It Won’t Cost a Cent) ◄ More doing gifts.

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Friday Flashback: A Day Of Remembrance

Every year I hear people, virtually all of them male, saying Valentine’s is too commercial, a made up holiday, just an excuse for companies to sell cards and candy, meaningless, and so on.

Heart shaped box of chocolates and roses.

First the facts: February 14th was declared a holiday in 496 AD to honour one (or more) of the martyrs named Valentine. Almost a thousand years later it started to be associated with romantic love, and from there it became a day for lovers to show their love with flowers, cards, and confections. The day was much as we know it now, four hundred years ago, albeit not as big a commercial enterprise. So, while the retailers of the world have done what they do, they did not create Valentine’s Day!

The long and short of it is this day has been a day to express love for centuries. It has long been a day of remembrance for those in love. The Old Testament is full of days of remembrance, most of them celebrated with a feast. God seems to think it’s good for us to focus on certain things, and to do it on the same day each year. I think the love of a husband and wife qualifies to be remembered in this way, and it grieves me to see some dismissing it as commercial, or silly, or too much trouble.

I urge you to start seeing Valentine’s as a day to celebrate your marriage, and your mutual love. How you do so is up to you – the form of the celebration isn’t important, but the celebration is.

[This post first appeared Feb 13, 2012.]

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Hot, Holy & Humorous | Hour-By-Hour Marital Intimacy On Valentine’s Day ◄ Need ideas? J’s got ideas!

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It Is A Good Day To Start A New Loving Habit

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope it’s a great day for you and your wife.

I’d like to suggest one more gift. There’s nothing to buy and no preparation to do, so you can do this if you choose to.

A card and a rose

Decide today to start a new habit that shows your wife love, affection, appreciation, grace, or kindness. It could be bringing her flowers every few weeks, or closing that drawer or cabinet door she is always complaining about you leaving open. It might be giving her a foot rub while you watch Netflix together or making the coffee in the morning because you wake up better than she does. You could decide to stop asking for that sex thing she doesn’t really like or maybe you could decide to give her more of the sex thing she likes that you could live without. The possibilities are nearly endless. 

Give it a bit of thought. You want to choose something that will really matter to her and it needs to be something you can do and will keep doing. If you’re going to forget, set a reminder alarm on your phone or your calendar. 

Finally, don’t announce this gift. Just do it. And keep doing it. If she asks about it down the road, just smile and say “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.”

#Couple’sQuestion: Where is your favorite spot in your home?

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V Minus Six And Counting

Yes, men, Valentine’s is less than a week away. Are you ready?

Roses by a sign that says "Be My Valentine"

If you’re one of those guys who “protests Valentine’s on principle“, may I suggest that no matter what you say, your wife sees your choice as something else. It’s a day devoted to romantic love and ignoring it tells her she’s just not that important to you. If you want to stand against commercialisation you can still make it clear to her that you love her. Write her a letter that expresses your love, for example.

If you want to do a Valentine’s date, and I strongly suggest that you do so, you may be able to get away with doing it a couple of days before or after the 14th. This year the 14th is on Monday, so the crowds will be out for the weekend and on Monday. If you celebrate on Tuesday you will have fewer people to compete with, less cost, and an easier time finding a babysitter if you need one.

As for sex, if it happens that’s great. If it doesn’t, don’t make a big deal out of it. Yeah, I tell women they should make V-day sex a priority, but I’m telling you to not get worked up if she doesn’t. Being reasonable about no sex this Valentine’s improves your odd for future February 14ths.

A couple of last-minute gift ideas:

CouplesMassageCourses.com has a great no nudity product that will teach you how to make your wife melt under your hands.

Or make some coupons good for whatever you want to give your wife, from massage to you cooking dinner whatever you can imagine. Head over to https://themarriagebed.com/love-coupons/ for some great looking, easy to use coupons.

#Couple’sQuestion: What made you fall in love with your spouse?

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