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I use AI to suggest titles and SEO data for my posts. And every time I put in something about porn, what it kicks back includes the words “porn addiction”.
Here’s the thing; porn addiction is not a real thing. Addiction is a word that has a specific meaning, and porn doesn’t check all the boxes. Those who argue porn can be addictive point out that porn use activates areas of the brain similar to those activated by using drugs. But no one has been able to show that porn use changes your brain chemistry the way true additions do, because that doesn’t happen.
Anyone who claims porn is addictive is ignoring science.
This is not to say porn is not a problem, or that it’s not difficult to walk away from. Porn use can be compulsive or obsessive, and habitual use can be a major problem.
So why does it matter that it’s not a true addiction? It matters because it’s virtually impossible to end an addiction without help. Cold turkey almost always fails when done alone, and weaning oneself without help also fails. A habit on the other hand can be dealt with by making life changes and exercising self-control.
I think those who struggle with porn want it to be an addiction so they feel less guilt about continuing to do it. Guys, it’s a lie. You’re not addicted, and if you want to stop, you can. I’m not going to tell you stopping is easy, but plenty of guys have done it, and so can you.
Thought question: if you knew that willingly looking at porn one more time would result in the end of your marriage, might you find the ability to stop? What if you knew everyone you know would be shown the porn you watched, would that put you off it?
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As someone who has followed and supported you for almost 20 years, and who is also 4 years in to a recovery journey from porn (sex) addiction I am saddened you’ve taken this stance, Paul. I believe you are ignoring the science and a tremendous amount of work done by people like Dr. Ted Roberts (Pure Desire) and other accredited professionals such as Patrick Carnes. I challenge you to find a 7 Pillars group and to talk to those who have found freedom with their help. What you would find is that porn and sex can be an addiction, that addiction is the opposite of connection, and that it stems from an intimacy disorder in family of origin. But to dismiss porn addiction out of hand as strictly a habit is wrong.
@Jerry Allison – I fully expected the pushback. I’ve seen all the folks who say it is an addiction. And I find their “science” is not science. I have no doubt they have pure intentions. But they base what they say on junk science, pseudoscience, and unproven claims. The real science says it’s not an addition.
For me, this is a matter of truth, and I will state the truth regardless of the ramifications and cost.
That said, a group like 7 Pillars can be a way to freedom. I am for anything that helps a man get free.
Dr. Carnes links in trauma, which is great. I would expect his methods to be very helpful. I wish he would avoid the word addiction, but in practice it probably doesn’t matter.
The idea that we need help is to me a foundational part of Christianity. I can’t do it myself, But I can do it in God, and support in some form is usually necessary.
If you are someone reading this and porn or compulsive sex is ruining your life and you can’t stop, please read below before you listen to this author’s well meaning but completely misguided, inaccurate, and unhelpful post.
TLDR: Go to https://www.sa.org/
The author’s title “The Myth of Porn Addiction: Science Says It’s a Habit” is highly misleading. While the World Health Organization in their diagnostic manual, International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) indeed does not have an entity called “sex addiction,” they do have an entity called “Compulsive sexual behavior disorder” which is a sub classification under “Impulse Control Disorder,” the same family of disorders as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). While the American Psychiatric Association does not have an official entry for hypersexuality, in their most recent manual, in the DSM-5 they did propose diagnostic criteria. This is a hotly debated topic in psychiatry/psychology and for the author to act as if there is consensus in “science” is completely and utterly false. The answer is we don’t know what this entity is exactly or what to call it.
When he writes “this is a matter of truth, and I will state the truth regardless of the ramifications and cost,” while its wonderful he is willing to pay the price for a controversial opinion, I cannot stress this enough, what he writes in this article about it being a habit is simply not true. It is completely opinion to call it a habit and to say that science “backs this up” is completely false. Dear author, please link to said studies that show it is a “habit.”
Just to refer to one study done by the Department of Psychiatry at Cambridge University (hardly junk science, https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0102419) using functional MRIs found “Neural differences in the processing of sexual-cue reactivity were identified in Compulsive sexual behavior subjects in regions previously implicated in drug-cue reactivity studies (this refers to drug use studies). The greater engagement of corticostriatal limbic circuitry in compulsive sexual behavior following exposure to sexual cues suggests neural mechanisms underlying compulsive sexual behavior and potential biological targets for interventions.”
I suspect the author would not be able to explain what a functional MRI is let alone what “corticostriatal limbic circuitry” is so his assessment of the “science” or what “truth” is should be taken with a grain of salt unless he is able to honestly write (you’re a christian remember) that he is able to explain what either of these are (and understood them before he wrote this article) or that he even bothered to read the paper I’m referencing or any other primary papers. It’s very easy to call things “junk science” but its much harder to actually read the papers and provide critiques. Please do that if you have the intellect to do so, if you do not, it is better to be humble instead of stating things as fact and truth when they in reality are just your opinion.
Wiping your hands on your pants after eating dinner instead of using a napkin is a bad habit. Losing your job, marriage, and children due to watching porn on your work computer just to take a sad but not uncommon example is hardly a bad “habit.” Whether you call it an addiction or a compulsion matters little for someone who is losing everything and can’t stop.
These few lines in particular are particularly harmful: “So why does it matter that it’s not a true addiction? It matters because it’s virtually impossible to end an addiction without help. Cold turkey almost always fails when done alone, and weaning oneself without help also fails. A habit on the other hand can be dealt with by making life changes and exercising self-control.”
Impulse control disorders are also virtually impossible to end without help. How many people with OCD who wash their hands 60 times a day so frequently that their hands bleed are breaking their “habit” on their own without external help?
Without question, there are people who use porn or sex in unhealthy ways and they can stop in the same way that you’ve lost your 50lbs as you reference in another post. But to assume that is the experience of everyone is completely void of Christian humility at best and at worst, you are discouraging people from getting the help they need and deserve by confusing and covering over the reality of their situation. There are people who for whom porn and sexual behavior is just a bad habit. But to say that is the case for everyone, is completely and utterly false runs in the face of the World Health Organization and the American Psychiatric Association. There are many, many people who will never get better on their own without help.
If you are someone who wants to stop viewing porn or sexual behaviors but can’t stop. If you are someone who makes countless promises, has tried accountability partners, web browser blocking software, has had hands laid on you and prayed, lost marriages, lost jobs, risked going to jail, if you have experienced any of this and so desperately want to stop but can’t, if that is you, get help. Don’t listen to this author’s post. Don’t treat it like a habit. Go to a 12 step meeting. Go to https://www.sa.org/.
To the author of this post, I would encourage you to reach out to saico@sa.org and ask to be connected with a sober Sexaholic who is also a Christian so you can learn and be better educated about this topic. I would also encourage you to write a retraction and link to
https://www.sa.org for those readers who it is something much more than just a bad habit. I have no doubt that someday when you make it to heaven, when all is revealed, you will regret writing this post and will be heart broken by the fact that you mislead so many of your followers on a path that will not work for them and will only confuse them more. Pray that you will have an open mind. I know you are well meaning and just trying to help. We all are fallible, but you have completely missed the mark on this post.
@Mark Sanders – Wow, really? Why all the insults and attacks?
Why is it so important to you that it is an addition?
I have no issue with the word compulsion. I’ve called it habitual and talked about men being enslaved to porn. I’m in agreement with the ICD-11, but you’re trying to prove it’s something they don’t say.
I’ve said I’m all for 12-step programs, or anything else that helps men get free. I linked to some such programs.
Yes, it remains debated by psychologists. But the hard science is clear. To make it an addition, you have to change the official definition of addiction.
Addiction and compulsion are NOT the same thing.
“Whereas addiction can also bear physiological consequences, compulsions fall solely under the realm of mental illness (it is technically an anxiety disorder) even though the behaviors themselves might result in bodily harm… distinguishing the differences between the two is important when it comes to treatment” ~ https://bit.ly/3ArhmkP
You linked to a ten-year-old study which “suggests neural mechanisms underlying Compulsive Sexual Behaviours”. It talks about CSB as being “conceptualized as a “behavioural” addiction” and various theories. And they ended with “further clinical studies are required to determine whether CSB should be categorized as an impulse-control disorder”.
If you want to play duelling cites, I can. Modulation of late positive potentials by sexual images in problem users and controls inconsistent with “porn addiction” (https://bit.ly/4flsa2T) is also rather old, but relevant. They found that those who struggle with pornography consumption had decreased brain reactions when viewing porn. This is the opposite of what addicts experience. It’s the opposite of what those addicted to drugs, cigarettes, and gambling experience. That suggests a different treatment for porn users than those addicted. As I have said, this is why I think it matters what we call it.
But it’s not a hill I intend to die on. I have repeatedly said I don’t really need to prove to others I’m right on this. I have agreed to disagree. But I keep getting attacked for stating what the current science says. And I keep asking why it matters so much?
Might there someday be new evidence that contradicts existing evidence? Sure. Might enough folks make enough noise that porn get labelled addictive, despite in not meeting the detention of that word? Possibly. Might the definition of addiction be changed to make porn qualify? It could happen. And if any of that happens, I will accept it as what science says. But none of that will change the experience of those who walk away from it in a way people don’t walk away from an addiction.
It sees we have the same goal. Why do you want to fight over a word, especially give you can’t prove our claim? How does that help anyone?
1) Not sure where I insulted or attacked you personally. I think you wrote an incredibly harmful and ignorant post and then have continued to defend it despite a lot of reasonable criticism. I think you as a human being are probably lovely and have overall helped a lot of people, including myself with other things you’ve written. I think you are way out of your field of expertise on this particular issue and for whatever reason don’t see that. A very human and common problem we all fall prey to as I’m sure I do on many other topics. I’m sorry you felt I was attacking you personally. I don’t know you at all. What I do know is that your post and continued insistence saying “hard science” is extremely misleading.
Just to your point you write, ” Addiction is a word that has a specific meaning, and porn doesn’t check all the boxes. Those who argue porn can be addictive point out that porn use activates areas of the brain similar to those activated by using drugs. But no one has been able to show that porn use changes your brain chemistry the way true additions do, because that doesn’t happen.
Anyone who claims porn is addictive is ignoring science.”
And yet, three studies that took me 10 seconds to look up show evidence of structural and neurochemical changes in those with problematic pronography use similar to those seen in addiction.
Alterations in oxytocin and vasopressin in men with problematic pornography use: The role of empathy – J Behav Addict. 2022 Jan 17;11(1):116-127. doi: 10.1556/2006.2021.00089
Brain structure and functional connectivity associated with pornography consumption: the brain on porn – JAMA Psychiatry. 2014 Jul 1;71(7):827-34. doi: 10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.93.
Can Pornography be Addictive? An fMRI Study of Men Seeking Treatment for Problematic Pornography Use – Neuropsychopharmacology. 2017 Sep;42(10):2021-2031. doi: 10.1038/npp.2017.78. Epub 2017 Apr 14.
My issue with what you wrote is not that I know it is an addiction. My issue with what you keep saying over and over again is the outright falsehood that science says it is not an addiction. I don’t know how you keep saying this when there are so many studies that are argue the other way. At best you can say is that we don’t know what it is. There are studies on both sides and so it is inconclusive, and yet….
Your thesis is A) it isn’t an addiction (this is a claim that requires evidence) and B) it is a habit (this is a claim that requires evidence)
As to issue A, this is still a hotly debated topic (see numerous studies above. Read Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, a psychatrist at Stanford.). Just because it isn’t currently considered an addiction doesn’t mean it won’t be in the future. THe issue is far from settled. And each DSM that comes out inches closer towards understanding it as such. Many, many pyschatrists and psychologsits believe it sould be considered as such. I’m not sure why a “10 year old” study is less true or accurate because it was 10 years ago. I don’t think human brains have change that much in their fundamental neurobiology in 10 years. The fMRI study showed that many of the same areas involved in drug addiction are being activated w/ sexual arousal in people who are having problems with their sexual behavior. I’m still not clear how you just ignore that. Or the other additional studies I cited above.
Again, I’m not saying it is an addiction. My point is that we don’t know what it is. There is a whole secular culture and porn lobby working against getting these studies funded. For most of human history alcoholism wasn’t a thing. You were just morally weak and evil. We eventually came to learn that wasn’t the whole story by any stretch of the imagination.
This is a hotly debated topic in science. You continually keep referencing “hard” science. I don’t know what that is or what you keep referring to. Yes, let’s have a citation duel which just proves my point that the topic is hotly debated and not settled. It is beyond me how you look at the literature and somehow see the matter as settled. Which is what your claim that it is not an addiction requires.
Thesis B) There is a world of difference between a habit and a compulsion. If your title or article had said Porn addictionisn’t real. It is a compulsion, I wouldn’t have bothered writing a single word to you. But that’s not what you wrote. You wrote it’s a habit. Which for some it is, but for many, many people it is not. And you calling it a habit just makes them feel worse about themselves and confuses them more about the sort of help they need.
When you write this “But none of that will change the experience of those who walk away from it in a way people don’t walk away from an addiction.” you completely miss the point I’m making. The analogy to alcohol is a good one. Many people, in fact most people can have one beer and be done. And go home and not drink another beer for six months or more. And yet, some unfortunate souls, drink one beer, and they can’t stop until they black out. You saying “it is a habit” assumes everyone has the same experience with porn.
There are a group of people who use porn and are able ot walk away from it just like you lost your 50lbs. But that is not everyone’s experience, but you There are so many people who no matter what they do cannot walk away from it no matter how much it costs them no matter how much they destory their life. I suspect, based on what youv’e written, you are not one of those people so I understand why it might be hard for you to relate to that. But for you to keep glossing over the fact that is why I am so frustrated with what youv’e written and your inability to see the issue.
There are so few issues I would ever take the time to write such long responses to, but this one has such potential to harm people. “But I keep getting attacked for stating what the current science says. And I keep asking why it matters so much?….How does that help anyone?” I am not attacking you. I am arguing with you because you are stating things that are not true. Current science does not say what you keep saying it says.
It matters so much because you calling it a habit makes people who don’t experience it as a habit and experience it as an addiction 1) feel horrible about themselves because they’re too weak to kick the habit themselves (which they fundamentally are incapable of doing) and 2) calling it a habit gives them further excuses to write off how serious of an issue they’re facing. A title like: “Is there such a thing as Porn addiction? A bad habit for some, but potentially something much more for others?” would have been a perfectly fine title and thesis for you to write about, but instead you insist on saying science says its not an addiction which I’ve listed 4 reputable journal articles support that it is an addiction by the current definitions of addiction.
@Mark Sanders – Starting a new thread as this one is getting too narrow.
I don’t know that it’s too narrow, but it certainly removes the rest of us who have replied to the original post from any follow-up conversations. I’m guessing we’d have to hunt to find the new thread.
This is a very dangerous post because it suggests that we can all overcome a sex / porn habit / compulsion / addiction with a “white knuckle” effort. That ignores a great body of science. In fact, repeated use of porn, masturbation and other sexual behavior can alter the brain in dramatic ways especially if the behavior begins before the teenage years. Here’s an article that discusses much of the science:
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/is-sex-addiction-a-myth/
@Jack Orsinger – I know a lot of Christians like yourbrainonporn. But it’s heavily based on junk science. And that I find dangerous.
As for “white knuckle” effort, that is how I got free at the age of 15. After daily porn use for years, I realised it was not acceptable to God. So I prayed, threw things away, and never relapsed. This has coloured my expectations, and it took time to realise my miraculous freedom was far more a gift of God than my own doing. But I’m not special, and what God did for me, He can do for others. Part of my dislike for the addiction label is it denies that possibility.
My advice is to get help. Or try, and if you fail, get help. For whatever reason, most folks won’t succeed on their own.
Is there any chance your own experience has coloured your view on the ‘pseudoscience”? I have known alcoholics who have received release from their addiction through Gods grace and others who have dealt with their addiction every day of their lives – also with Gods grace. I often think God frees the weak because He knows they won’t be able to handle the temptation and allows the strong to struggle because it makes them even stronger. ‘What God did for me, He can do for others’ but it is His choice if He does or not.
@Neil – I freely admit my experience has coloured my take. And I assume the same for most other folks.
But pseudoscience is not my judgment, it’s the judgment of the scientific community. Much of is claimed is not based on studies, and the few studies cited have horrible methodology that makes them useless. And then you get words like “similar”, which means not the same.
I really don’t feel the need to “win” this. I stated what I see as the facts, and I am happy to let folks make their own decision.
@Jack Orsinger – I meant the column was too narrow.
What about the argument that persistent porn use does not meet all the criteria for addiction but, for some, it can be described as a compulsion?
@J. Parker – I mentioned that.
If a guy got lost in the wilderness, he would not suffer withdrawal from porn, no matter how often he used it. But cigarettes, drugs, and significant alcohol use would result in withdrawal.
Withdrawal is a feature of addiction, not compulsion. For instance, compulsive gambling involves:
• Being preoccupied with gambling
• Needing to gamble with increasing amounts of money to get the same thrill
• Trying to control, cut back or stop gambling, without success
• Feeling restless or irritable when you try to cut down on gambling
• Gambling to escape problems or relieve feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety or depression
• Risking or losing important relationships, a job, or school or work opportunities because of gambling
(Mayo Clinic)
It seems like one could trade out “gambling” for “porn use,” and it would describe the experience of some users.
@ J. Parker – Gambeling is an oddity. It’s the only behavioural addiction recognised in the DSM-5. My understanding is gambling addiction results in health issues that don’t occur with heavy porn use, and that’s why it’s an exception.
OK. Don’t really feel like you answered my inquiry. But OK. Good to engage with you! Blessings… ~ J
I was sent this article bc I help men (particularly pastors) get free from porn. I hear your sentiment but your quest for science to validate your reasoning is too light. There have been attempted studies that can’t can’t find a sizable control group of young men who haven’t viewed porn. I saw in a comment you quit cold turkey after 15. Congrats and praise God. But you look over 30, so that’s apples and oranges to the porn of today. You threw away magazines or and old hard drive maybe, young people today are fed soft porn on social media and filth on the actual sites at lighting speed. When you start viewing that at 10 years old, your adolescent brain is not just developing a bad habit. My main teaching point to men is “God will not answer your prayer to take this sin away from you because he already has and you didn’t like the answer. The answer is you must get help from other people.” So I would encourage you to ask how many people under 30 have gotten over their porn use without asking for help. You’ll find nobody will answer you mainly, and those that say they did will be outliers.
@Tyler McMahan – I’m not looking to science to validate what I think; I’ve based what I think on what the science says. I used to be in the “it’s an addiction camp” and I was moved out of it by reading what actual, well done data shows.
I know men who have gone cold turkey recently. It’s rare, but I would argue that is, in part, because we tell them they can’t do it.
I have said, repeatedly now, that 1) I don’t have a need to convince others it’s not an addiction, 2) whatever works for you is good, and 3) most need help. So we agree on all but that one point, I have no desire to argue. And yet it’s the point you came here to discuss.
All that aside, thanks for what you do. And especially for helping pastors. They have so few safe places to deal with this.
@Mark Sanders – First, let me correct an error on my part. I said porn doesn’t change the brain physically. Of course that’s ridiculous, every memory we make physically changes the brain. I was thinking of a specific kind of physical change, and spoke without thinking it through.
When I say “science says” I mean the scientific community. And the vast majority of those who know more about this than you and I combined say porn is not addictive. Yes, there are a minority who disagree, and yes they point to a few studies they say “suggest” it’s addictive. You are promoting a theory held by a small minority of experts, but you ask me for a retraction.
Your second cite, which is ten years old, point out that “the observed volumetric association with PHs in the striatum could likewise be a precondition rather than a consequence of frequent pornography consumption.” IOW, they have shown correlation, but not causation. They rightly suggest this needs to be studied more. In the decade since, has anyone done that? If so, I could not find it, and neither author has done a follow up study. (See https://bit.ly/3OcNHPg for more on this.)
I spent a lot of time reading those who argue it’s addictive. I many times saw the term “behavioral addiction”. That’s not the same thing as a physical addiction. I argued that porn lacks the clear evidence of a physical addition. Behavioural addiction is a much less defined thing, and it would be far easier to convince me porn is this kind of addiction. You didn’t address my points about physical addition, so I don’t know what specifically you are arguing for. (Your first cite uses this term.)
Behavioural addictions can be tough, but not as bad as a physical addiction. Going “cold turkey” is more likely to succeed. And an AA style program is not the best fit.
As for hard and soft science, hard science refers to things like physics, chemistry, and biology, which have quantifiable data and use mostly controlled experiments. Soft science is things like psychology, sociology, and political science, where behaviour and social interactions are examined. Soft science studies can’t control well for variables, and are given to subjective interpretation. I’m not one of those who sees no use in the soft sciences, but I do see the challenges and imprecise nature of them. My saying porn is not addictive is based on what hard science says. The soft science suggesting we see it as a behavioural addiction is tempting. I will have to do more study to see if it really fits.
I am aware of a growing industry that makes money off of porn being an addition. I will admit that probably colours how I look at things, especially things that industry loudly promotes. These folks also play fast and loose with science. They make claims not made by a study they cite, and they treat correlation as causation. They also cherry-pick, and often use older studies, while ignoring newer studies that are better and challenge the study they like. In health sciences, references are expected to be no more than five years old, and some suggest no more than three. When I see a bunch of older studies, it makes me wary. Additionally, these folks seem to ignore things like study size, author conflicts of interest, demographics, and other important checks on studies.
Those who argue it’s an addition usually talk about problematic pornography use, or PPU. Thing is, PPU is based on how an individual feels about their use. It’s entirely subjective. So when you do a study on men who are PPU (such as your 3rd cite) they can’t have a good demographic spread. The findings may be interesting, but they don’t prove anything, and are only of use with those who identity as PPU.
Differentiating those who can drink in moderation and those who can not is valid. The obvious difference with porn is one drink is not sin, while one porn video is. I’ve never seen a study on porn relapse because of a single exposure. I would be unethical to do such a study, of course, so it would have to be anecdotal. I’ve heard from guys who saw something after a year of being clean, and didn’t dive back in. Have you heard the opposite? Given the abundance of triggers, if this is the case, how could a man ever get free?
You talk about those who can’t walk away no matter what they lose. I’ve heard that, but never met anyone who reported that. I don’t doubt it exists, but how common is it? Is it rare? Is it actually a function of some other issue?
I agree with you that “habit” was a poor word choice. I said, “Porn use can be compulsive or obsessive, and habitual use can be a major problem.” I should have stuck with compulsive or obsessive.
Thanks for the engagement. Sorry it took a bit to get back to you. Wanted to do some reading before I responded.
As you know, I’ve written many blog posts too, so I get the frustration of someone parsing your words to come up with something that you didn’t say or at least didn’t intend. But as you could tell by my question, I don’t think this sentence had the impact you perhaps wanted: “Porn use can be compulsive or obsessive, and habitual use can be a major problem.” Because soon after, you say:
“I think those who struggle with porn want it to be an addiction so they feel less guilt about continuing to do it. Guys, it’s a lie. You’re not addicted, and if you want to stop, you can. I’m not going to tell you stopping is easy, but plenty of guys have done it, and so can you.”
Your main message, then, comes across as “if you want to stop, you can.” And if a man can’t seem to do it and thinks maybe he’s addicted, he’s only believing that so he can keep using. I think that sells some men short.
Maybe it’s not technically an addiction, but as pointed out before, the World Health Organization now recognizes “compulsive sexual behaviour disorder” (definition here: https://icd.who.int/browse/2024-01/mms/en#1630268048). And their description matches what I’ve heard from a number of folks in the decade-plus I’ve been in marriage ministry. That said, I know that designation is not without controversy (though often because certain people want no strictures on sexual behavior), and the American Psychiatric Association passed on adding hypersexual disorder to their most recent DSM.
But while experts can argue over whether persistent, unwanted sexual behavior is addiction, compulsion, habit, or something else (and, like Sanders, I actually don’t believe the question is as settled as you state), most people aren’t looking at those terms so officially. When Joe or Jane Average says they’re addicted to something—be it porn, caffeine, chocolate, or cute-kitten videos—they’re saying they struggle to break free. And that’s legit. Even more so when it’s something so damaging to one’s self and relationships as ongoing porn use. Frankly, I want people to call it whatever they need to call it to get help and find freedom and healing.
@J. Parker – What you call “My main message” is at odds with most of my follow-up post, which not only encouraged men to get help, but pointed to some resources. I was building a case, and that started by saying it’s not an addiction.
I think some use “It’s an addition” as an excuse to not deal with it, to take years to deal with it, or to relapse. And I’ve seen folks more qualified than I say seeing it as an addiction can create a psychological barrier to quitting.
As for it being “settled” it is as far as the hard science is concerned. Yes, it shares some “similarities” with additions. But it lacks some things always found in additions, including the lack of withdrawal. (https://bit.ly/4eE6E8j).
So unless the detention of addiction is changed, it’s settled. That fact that some say otherwise is as meaningless as those who think the world being round is not a settled issue. And again, this is the hard science folks vs the soft.
I am open to the idea of it being a behavioural addiction. But no one here arguing it’s an addiction has used that term. Science Direct has the clearest detention I’ve found, saying a behavioural addiction is: “an intense desire to repeat some action that is pleasurable or perceived to improve wellbeing or capable of alleviating some personal distress.” I’d say PPC is very much that. Of course, this also makes almost anything a potential behavioural addiction, which seems unhelpful. It also makes it critical to differentiate between physical and behavioural addictions.
The thing about behavioural addictions is they’re not the real problem. They’re a coping mechanism. Getting rid of a behavioural addiction without first dealing with the real issue usually fails. And if you deal with the real issue, the behaviour may go away on its own. A physical addiction is typically also a way of coping, but the addition has become so destructive it must be dealt with before you can address the underlying issues. That’s a major difference in how the two are treated, and that’s why it matters how we perceive it.
I have several times mentioned, and no one has commented on, the large and growing industry making big money treating porn use. And these folks are in the forefront of warning it called an addiction. They have a major conflict of interest, and they misuse studies to support their claims.
One of my frustrations is the suggestion that no one is ever free of porn. They are one video away from being right back where they were. That is certainly true for more addicted to physical substances. But I doubt it’s true for anyone who has gotten free of porn. If the “one slip” thing is false, it’s a lie that does no one any good.
I absolutely agree the main thing is to get help, freedom, and healing. But I think how we frame the issue impacts both getting folks to do that, and the effectiveness of the help they get.
So you say it’s not an addiction, but then you’re open to it being a behavioral addiction. Can you at least see how that might be confusing to some? Who think they’re talking about a behavioral addiction, and then you say it’s NOT an addiction?
And again, when you say, “You’re not addicted, and if you want to stop, you can,” why would some guy then seek outside resources? After all, if he wants to stop, according to you, he can.
Sorry, Paul, but I agree with you on a lot of this stuff, but the tone you take is problematic for some men who might be tempted to white-knuckle their way through but really need help.
@J. Parker – I’ve said it’s not a PHYSICAL addition. I’ve said that half a dozen times here. I said it might be a BEHAVIOURAL addiction. I don’t see how that is confusing. My initial comments were about physical addiction, which was pretty clear by what I said, even though I didn’t use the word. When I considered the possibility of it being behavioural, I was clear about that. You seem to be refusing to see the progression here.
I have NEVER told anyone to white-knuckle it, and have repeatedly advocated the opposite. You put words in my mouth, and then chide me for them. What’s that about?
It seems you are just looking for an argument. And you still have not addressed several things I’ve asked you.
I want to apologize for seeming to be combative, which was not my intention, but I take full responsibility for coming across that way.
I would encourage you, however, to apply those qualifiers (“physical,” “behavioral”) in your post when you talk about addiction, because I think that would make your viewpoint clearer to readers. All the best to you and your ministry, Paul!
@J. Parker – I want to rewrite this, but have not made the time yet.
Have a great snow free Thanksgiving!