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Every year I hear people, virtually all of them male, saying Valentine’s is too commercial, a made up holiday, just an excuse for companies to sell cards and candy, meaningless, and so on.
First the facts: February 14th was declared a holiday in 496 AD to honour one (or more) of the martyrs named Valentine. Almost a thousand years later it started to be associated with romantic love, and from there it became a day for lovers to show their love with flowers, cards, and confections. The day was much as we know it now, four hundred years ago, albeit not as big a commercial enterprise. So, while the retailers of the world have done what they do, they did not create Valentine’s Day!
The long and short of it is this day has been a day to express love for centuries. It has long been a day of remembrance for those in love. The Old Testament is full of days of remembrance, most of them celebrated with a feast. God seems to think it’s good for us to focus on certain things, and to do it on the same day each year. I think the love of a husband and wife qualifies to be remembered in this way, and it grieves me to see some dismissing it as commercial, or silly, or too much trouble.
I urge you to start seeing Valentine’s as a day to celebrate your marriage, and your mutual love. How you do so is up to you – the form of the celebration isn’t important, but the celebration is.
[This post first appeared Feb 13, 2012.]
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Hot, Holy & Humorous | Hour-By-Hour Marital Intimacy On Valentine’s Day ◄ Need ideas? J’s got ideas!
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I think as Christian we need to reclaim Valentine’s Day! It would be a good thing to sit down with your spouse and discuss what you two could do as a couple, and as a family, to honor love within traditional marriages and families.
It is true that Valentine’s Day has become a sort of day of entitlement. Commercialism has really soured it. Relationships have broken up over the materialism of it. But we can do better! It’s a lovely time to honor God through loving our spouse!
All that said, my husband and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day together. When we were dating he put his foot down and said he would have nothing to do with that “Hallmark Holiday.” And no amount of history story-telling would get him to change his mind. I admit, it kinda broke my heart. As a day-dreaming girl I couldn’t wait to have a man in my life so I could finally celebrate Valentine’s Day. But, it wasn’t a hill to die on, so I let it go all these years.
Now, I’m Catholic, so St. Valentine’s Day is in my life again! Just because hubby won’t celebrate it doesn’t mean I can’t! I dressed our bed up. I’ll buy little Valentines for my kids and hubby. Just a cute, special treat, and, of course, I can participate in any Mass or celebration at my parish. I can respect my husband’s wishes while still having fun and celebrating.
My happiest Valentine’s Day memory, though, is that every year my dad would buy my sister and me a little heart box of chocolates. We didn’t have much money growing up so my dad would go without coffee at work in order to save up enough money to buy my sister and me Valentines. He didn’t give my brothers Valentines. Only us girls (and, of course, mom).