I have tweeted on a number of occasions that if something is important to our spouse, it should be important to us. At least once I tweeted that twice the same day, once with the tag #SexTip, and again with #MarriageTip.
Yes, that was intended to suggest to women they need to make sex a top priority if it’s important to their guy. But it also means you need to be all about what matters to her.
So if Valentine’s matters to you wife, man up and do it for her.
Don’t give me BS about how it is too commercialized (it is) or was made up by the greeting card industry (it was not). If you don’t do it, what you are telling your wife is she’s not really important to you. Unless that is the message you want to send, I suggest you do more than a last-minute card and whatever chocolates are left on the shelf.
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After 2 decades of Valentine’s Day refusal from him, I’m actually relieved we don’t have yet another holiday to obligate and navigate, especially one with such implied high stakes.
The happiest way I can think of celebrating the day is with the children.
Man up and be her Valentine
if that’s important to her life;
she’s not some nameless concubine;
she’s pride of place, number-one wife!
Of course you’re no polygamist;
but it’s really hard to find
words (for it’s a real short list)
with which ‘Valentine’ is rhymed.
So, right, where was I, now I’m lost,
my mental train has left the tracks;
oh, yeah, got it…pay the cost
and give the romance that she lacks
even if you’ld rather be
out throwing knives againt a tree.
For many years it was Chocolates and flowers. Then one day DW said no more. No more chocolates and flowers. They are a waste of money. If you want to turn me on it has to be teddy bears and chocolates. The house and 5th wheel have many teddy bears of all sizes and types. Some were delivered to work so I could wait and see what surprise, if any, might be in store for DH. Now that DW has left this earth a large teddy bear sits in her seat in the car. And DW, Teddy bears and I lived happily ever after.
What exactly does man up and be her valentine mean? And how do you give romance to your wife when she has shown no interest in being intimate in 8 years? I have purchased a gift certificate for an hour massage and a pedicure to give to her on Feb 14th but I don’t think that would be considered romantic. On second thought I don’t think I really know what romance is anymore. I could read her some poems by Elizabeth Browning but she would rather watch HGTV or news shows. Help me out with this mystery of what romance is.
@Gary – When you say intimate, do you mean sex, or intimacy in a broader way? If she is closed to all of it, then what you have done seems like a reasonable attempt to show you care about her.
When I say no intimacy I mean sexual intimacy and in any way you can be intimate. We have not been sexually intimate for at least 8 years and occasions of sex were rare before that. In 2012 my wife had back surgery so she deals with occasional back pain. However she has often said she is open to having sex but every time I approach her and attempt to initiate sex she says she doesn’t want to be touched. This scenario has occurred many times 5-8 years ago and I no longer attempt to initiate sex with her. I also have been dealing with E.D. over the last 15 years so that is an additional complication. I had a TURP surgery in May 2019 and I have received prescription for generic Viagra after follow up appointments. On further follow up appointments my urologist asked me if the Viagra was effective and I had to tell him I didn’t know as we haven’t tried connecting sexually.
Yes I do care for my wife and I love her but it just seems that our sex life is dead and I need to learn how to live in marital celibacy.