During our RV wanderings, a couple of years ago, Lori and I had the chance to talk to an unusual couple. The wife is asexual; she loves her husband, but she has no sexual desire for him and doesn’t get any physical pleasure out of sex. She wasn’t aware she was asexual when they got married, and it was actually the husband who suggested it to her after they had been married for awhile.
I’m sure this couple’s friends would be shocked if they knew this. The couple has a great marriage, and they clearly love each other very much.
If ever a wife had an excuse for saying no to sex, it’s this woman. However, not only does she not say no, she’s all about sex. She has figured out sex is important for her husband and for her marriage and she does it for those reasons. She has no desire for it, but she does it because she knows it’s important. That’s how love looks! That’s what love does!
The message I want you to take away from this post has nothing to do with sex. This is not a club to be used to convince your wife to say yes to sex more often. This is a way to get you to think about what your wife wants and needs that you don’t desire in any way. What matters to her that matters not a bit to you? Can you choose to do that thing, or those things, because they matter to your wife? Let me rephrase that – WILL you to do them because they matter to your wife?
That’s how love looks. That’s what love does. Be loving.
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Is this couple on TMB? Can I talk to them???
@Jeremy – They are not, sorry.
Ok i understand. I DMed you on TMB with a little more info than i feel comfortable posting here. Please check your DMs there. I would like to chat and see if you can help or know someone who can.