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Friday Flashback: Get Out Of Town… Together

by The Generous Husband | Apr 23, 2021 | Links to good stuff, Quality Time, ZIMAGE

How long has it been since you and your wife got away together?

I know it’s tough, especially if you have kids. However, as with many important things, the difficulty is something to be worked around rather than a reason to not act. I’m convinced that couple getaways are extremely important. Even if it’s Friday after work till Sunday afternoon, it helps a couple to reconnect and get better in touch.

I’ve suggested ways of cutting costs before – and will again below. Please hit the comments and give your own tips and tricks for making a couple’s getaway easier or less expensive.

Go midweek when prices are lower.
Go offseason.
Save on food by hitting a grocery store when you arrive and buying food. Bring an ice chest to use as a fridge in your hotel room.
Get friends to keep your kids – and do the same for them later.
On-line services like priceline.com, hotwire.com, travelocity.com, and others have great last-minute deals.
Send the kids to camp and have a rockin’ staycation!

[This post first appeared May 26, 2011.]

A post worth reading:

Dr. Corey Carlisle | Tent making ◄ What are you called to do?

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Friday Flashback: Anniversary Trips

by The Generous Husband | Aug 23, 2019 | 1 + 1 = 1, Quality Time, ZIMAGE

I’m a huge advocate of a yearly anniversary trip. Aside from celebrating your marriage, a trip is a great way to pull aside and reconnect. If you take a trip each year, you can gauge how your marriage is doing by looking at how things have improved or gotten worse since the last trip.

I realise a yearly trip is difficult for many of us; I also think it’s a priority worth setting. Save up your miles and free stays. Look for discounts. Get family and/or friends to take the kids (even if you have to reciprocate) and burn up a few vacation days. Work a bit of overtime and/or cut back on something to make the money. It’s worth it, really it is.

One year we didn’t have the money to go anywhere, but we still wanted our anniversary time together. We told everyone we would be doing our annual trip and took our son to his cousins a couple of hours drive away. Then we came home, unplugged the phone, and covered the front window. We put a blanket on the floor and watched movies, ate snacks, snuggled, and so on. We did some no/low-cost tourist things in and near our home town, and we broke into the change bottle to have one nice meal out. For almost nothing in money, we had our few days alone.

If you’re determined, you can do it.

[This post first appeared October 27, 2010.]

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Friday Flashback: Gift Coupons

by The Generous Husband | Oct 21, 2016 | Acts of Service, Gifts, ZIMAGE

Self-made gift coupons can be great if you give her things she wants.

A few ideas (add your own in the comments):

“I’ll do the dishes” – be ready to do them, no matter what.
“Two hours of TV you want to watch” – exclude the playoffs if you must!
“Dinner out” – set aside money if you need to.
“I’ll go get dinner” – as above.
“A movie of your choice” – something like “requires 48-hour notice” is a good idea.
“A very long back rub” – add “with no expectation of sex to follow” if appropriate.

[This post first appeared October 28, 2009.]

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Breakfast Date

by The Generous Husband | Oct 29, 2015 | Her Needs, Quality Time

Last week we spent several days with long-time friends. Among other things, they asked us to join them for their breakfast date one morning.

This couple both work, and they have two teenage boys at home. Their schedule is crazy, and between sometimes working late and evening activities with their sons, getting a date night is iffy at best. So, they have started doing breakfast together at a nearby restaurant. The fact most of the staff knew them by name shows they do this regularly. Good for them!

If getting a date night is tough for you, try this. Go in separate cars and leave for work if necessary, or make it a Saturday or Sunday morning thing. Pick a place you both like and make it “your place” for breakfast.

If you have kids too young to be left alone, see if you can move your work start time one day a week so you can have a breakfast date after the kids are off for school.

BTW, this is also a great idea if you’re on a tight budget; a nice breakfast can be had for far less than dinner.

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Dessert Your Wife!

by The Generous Husband | Oct 8, 2014 | Margin, Quality Time

Take your wife out for dessert, bring home a nice dessert for the two of you, or cook up something sweet to share with her.

If you’re short on time or money, this is a great way to have a date. Or, make it a special thing you do for her on occasion. If you do it at home, vary the setting: a backyard picnic, by the fireplace, or dessert in bed.

Bonus: Buy a special plate or set of plates and use them just for your private dessert parties.

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Friday Flashback: Jar Fund

by The Generous Husband | Aug 1, 2014 | Friday Flashback, Gifts

Get a large jar and start collecting change for some future gift or vacation. Or, just save for a nice date night.

Bonus: Show her how important she is to you by giving up something you regularly buy and putting the money from that item into the jar.

[This post originally appeared April 29th, 2009]

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Friday Flashback: To “Buy Happiness” Go for Experiences.

by The Generous Husband | Mar 21, 2014 | Friday Flashback, Gifts, Quality Time

Experiments find long-term happiness and satisfaction come not from what we have but what we do. It seems experiences mean more to us than things do.

I think this is especially true for couples; money spent doing things with her will satisfy her more than buying her stuff. Based on that, I suggest a majority of the money you spend “on her” should go towards dinners, movies, going dancing, museums, day trips, vacations, and so on.

If money is tight, look for ways to “buy” experiences on the cheap. Make a picnic meal and take a drive to the beach, the mountains, a national park, or some such. Find a way to go to movies when the prices are lower. Look for deals on off days and at non-peak times.

If you are not struggling financially there are great deals from vacation locations hurting for income. Maybe it is time for the vacation you have always dreamed about.

[This post originally appeared Feb 25th, 2009]

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A Romantic Meal

by The Generous Husband | Feb 5, 2013 | Acts of Service, Aff Link, Quality Time, Romance

Note: This is for Valentines, but please apply at other times too.

Our biology was created so we bond when we share a meal with someone. Eating causes oxytocin to be released into our bodies. Oxytocin causes us to feel close and connected to those we are with whom we’re eating. Oxytocin is also released when we touch, and especially during sex, with a peek at orgasm. Singing together is another way to get a group oxytocin release. Anything we do with our spouse that releases oxytocin is good for our health and our marriage. This means regular meals together help us feel closer, and build trust. If we take our time over a meal, the effect is even greater.

So, date night is scientifically valid. Unfortunately, it may also be financially challenging. Here are a few ideas to help if money is a concern:

Find a way to do lunch rather than dinner. Most “nice” places have a lunch menu with significantly lower costs.
Rewards cards. It is increasingly common for restaurants to have a club or reward cards that allow you to earn points good on future visits. Getting one free meal free for every five you buy adds up.
Go on Monday or Tuesday. These are typically slow days and some places have specials on those days.
Sign up for coupons. Many restaurants offer coupons by e-mail if you register with their web site or like them on facebook.
Try a discounted gift cards site (restaurant.com for example). You have to check the fine print (when is’t good, what is excluded, and the minimum you must spend), but if you find a place you really like this can be a big money saver.
Go for appetizers or dessert. Yes it’s way too much money for what you eat, but it can be a cheap date at a nice place.

Another great option is to have a nice cosy meal at home:

Presentation makes the difference. Nice place settings, candle light, a few flowers, confetti, or some other special touch. Don’t forget music.
Set up a small table some place other than where you usually eat.
Learn how to cook a few things she really likes and do them her from time to time (clean up to really bless her).
Get something you both like “to go” from a restaurant, and serve it as above.
Do a simple snack, but make it a big deal.

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