prayer - The Generous Husband

Devotional for a New Year: Embrace Spiritual Growth and Strengthen Your Marriage

by The Generous Husband | Dec 26, 2023 | Aff Link, Apply the Bible, Big Deal Post, Sharing Life, ZIMAGE

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Please see the year-end giving plea at the bottom!

Do you have a devotional for next year? Yes, I mention this the end of every year. I do that because I think it’s a big deal.

Devotionals are a great way to grow in the Lord, which is a good thing for your life and your marriage. And doing a devotional with your wife is especially good for your marriage. When I say “with” that could mean reading it together, or reading it separately and then discussing it later. My two favourites are Live in Grace, Walk in Love: A 365-Day Journey by Bob Goff and New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional by Paul David Tripp. The Goff choice is an easier and funnier read, but still hits home. The Tripp offering is theologically deeper.

I’ve downloaded Live in Grace, Walk in Love from Audible, and will make it part of my morning routine on my phone. So after I get weather, what’s on my calendar, and a fun fact about this date in history, it will play the devotional for Lori and me to hear.

I strongly urge you to find a devotional for 2024. If you do, and stick with it, you will be a better man in 2025.

GIVING:

This plea is bigger than just Lori and me. Most non-profits rely heavily on year-end giving, and that has gotten a lot less sure the last few years. Please consider the ministries and non-profits that bless you and do good things. Without donations, they have to cut back, and some will die.
Lori and I have reached 70% of our goal. We’re not in danger of going hungry, but we really need to hit our goal.

2023 Year End

You can be a part of us helping marriages by supporting us with your prayers and finances. Thanks, Paul & Lori

Give with a Credit Card or PayPal:

Donate with Check or Bill Pay

Print out our donation form and mail it with your check or money order. Make checks payable to The Marriage Bed. Or skip the form and put “Paul & Lori” in the memo.

Mail to:

Paul & Lori
c/o The Marriage Bed, Inc.
4641 Lyons Hill Road
Springdale, WA 99173

US donations are tax-deductible

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Are You Open to God’s Leading in Your Marriage?

by The Generous Husband | Oct 26, 2023 | Audio, Faith walk, Seeing Clearly, Series, ZIMAGE

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Doing the rerun series on busyness has been an insightful experience for me. It originally ran fourteen years ago, and I can see how I was sharing something God was doing with me at the time. I added the margin tag a month after I wrote the series, a result of reading Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives. Shortly after that, I did a series on margin. I also started thinking and praying about the idea of a day of rest at this time, first blogging about it two months after this series ran.

I didn’t see it at the time, but looking back, it’s clear God was working on me to move me to a healthier lifestyle. The fallout from that has made my marriage and other relationships so much better. It also made much of what was to come much easier. I didn’t know what the next decade held, but God did, and He was preparing me for those things.

God works in our lives. And when we choose to follow His leading, the results can be amazing. Thing is, it’s not usually a lightning strike and booming voice from heaven. It’s been said the Holy Spirit is a gentleman. It’s easy to miss what God is doing, especially when we’re too busy. Are you open to the gentle leading of the Holy Spirit? Do you have prayer times that allow you to be directed? Nothing else will make as much of an impact on your life and your marriage.

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Praying for Your Sex Life: Invite God Into The Bedroom

by The Generous Husband | Aug 12, 2023 | Audio, Sexuality, ZIMAGE

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Earlier this week, I wrote a couple of posts about praying for your marriage. What about praying for your sex life?

I know some folks feel funny about mixing sex and God, but sex was His idea. What’s more, He strongly encourages us to have plenty of sex in marriage. He cares about your sex life, and He won’t strike you dead if you pray about it.

All of what I said about praying for our marriages applies to praying about sex. If you’ve been selfish or worse about sex, praying about sex is inviting God to show you those things. And using God to manipulate your wife sexually is not going to end well for you! Praying “God, let her say yes” is fine, provided you’re not walking in sexual sin and have not done things that push her away from you and/or sex.

Here, even more than in other areas, “your will, not mine” is critical. I’d suggest you spend a lot of time asking God to reveal to you His heart for your sex life. And you might be surprised! It’s possible your guilt and wrong teachings have you thinking what is allowed is far less than what God would like you and your wife to enjoy sexually. Likewise for your wife, so “God reveal to both of us how you want our sex life to look” would be a great way to pray.

I’d also suggest regularly praying for God to free both of you from shame, guilt, wrong teaching, and the ways your past have messed you up sexually.

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Can Prayer Really Change Your Wife?

by The Generous Husband | Aug 10, 2023 | Audio, Big Deal Post, Change, Good Marriage, ZIMAGE

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On Tuesday, I said your prayers can change your wife. I suspect some found that questionable.

I am not suggesting that God will force your wife to change because you ask Him to. But prayer can bring about change.

The best case scenario is that you are praying for a wife who wants to change and grow. This means you’re agreeing with her. You may pray something she would not because of her blind spots or fears, but if she’s really all about being who God called her to be, this can result in God convicting or challenging her.

The worst case is praying “God, whatever it takes for my wife to change”. Of course, that’s a very serious prayer, and not something to do lightly. You need to be sure you’ve done everything you can and should do first. If you try to sic God on your wife while you’re wronging her, God may come after you like a father protecting his precious daughter. The other thing to realise is that while this prayer sometimes works, it can also cause things to get far worse. If God puts your wife in a place to chose, she may make the wrong choice and that could harm or destroy your marriage.

As I suggested yesterday, when you pray about your marriage, or your wife, you need to be all about “God, your will, not mine, be done.”

Most of the time, I think we’re far better off asking our wife what she would like us to pray for. If you keep doing that, she may start to suggest some of the more difficult things she wants to change about herself as a wife. If she does that, don’t see it as a chance to tell her what you want or what you think she should do. Just take it to God in prayer.

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How Praying for Your Marriage Changes You

by The Generous Husband | Aug 8, 2023 | Audio, Change, Good Marriage, ZIMAGE

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Do you think prayer changes things? If so, then prayer should be a major part of your marriage improvement program.

I’ve seen Lori change, seemingly as a result of my prayers. I will talk about that on Thursday. Today, I want to talk about something far more important: how our prayers changes us!

We all tell ourselves stories to make ourselves feel better about what we do, and don’t do, in our marriages. We may even share these stories with friends to make ourselves look better than we are. But most of us are not up to trying to sell these stories to God. If our prayers for our marriage are based on stories we tell ourselves, we’re giving God permission to call us on it.

I suspect we sometimes don’t pray about our marriage for this very reason. We know we’re wrong about something, and ignoring that while we tell God how horrible our wife is feels wrong. Even if we’re honest, praying opens us up to God convicting us about the places we fall short as husbands. I know I’ve avoided praying about certain marriage issues for these reasons.

Praying about your marriage will help you deal with the less than true stories you tell yourself. It gives God the chance to show you what you could do to make your marriage better. It can also soften your heart and lead to you giving more grace. All of these things will help your relationship with your wife.

When you pray for your marriage, which I suggest you do daily, be sure to include “Not my will, but your will be done.” God knows both you and your wife. He knows what you both need, and how you should both change. His will is better for your marriage than your will. Much better.

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Help Make This Marriage Ministry Better

by The Generous Husband | Aug 7, 2023 | None of the Above

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Today, I’m going to ask for your help. Yes, that includes asking for donations, but that’s not all.

My desire is to see marriages heal and grow. That is why I’ve done this for more than a quarter of a century, and why I expect to keep doing it as long as they can prop me up in front of a keyboard. But helping requires I understand the need. I’m sure I’m missing some things that I should address. And I’m probably covering some things too often. So I would really appreciate hearing from you about what you want to hear, or hear more often, as well as what I should back off on. You can leave a comment, or use the contact form to email me.

I also covet your prayers. I have a fair amount of experience and wisdom about marriage, but I don’t know it all, and I’m far from perfect. Please pray for me to have wisdom. Also, boldness and grace, as is appropriate.

As to donations, yes please. If one to two percent of you who follow Lori or me regularly would give $5 a month, we would be set. Recurring donations help us budget, but giving it all at once is great too. This link allows you to do either. I know setting it up can be a hassle, but a few dollars a month really can make a difference. This is my last nag for summer giving.

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A Demon Behind Every Throw Pillow?

by The Generous Husband | Dec 3, 2022 | Audio, Links to good stuff, Seeing Clearly, Sexuality, ZIMAGE

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I’m not a demon behind every bush kind of guy, but I do think we have a supernatural adversary. I lean more towards C. S. Lewis than Pigs in the Parlor, seeing what Satan does as dangling temptations and heresies in front of us to see if he can hook us.

If I were Satan, I would work overtime on messing up sex. There are two directions to go: get folks to have sex with people they’re not married to, and keep them from having sex with the person they are married to. And if you do the first well enough, the second may happen with no extra effort. A lot of women enter marriage so sexually messed up it would take a miracle for them to ever want or enjoy sex.

Keep this in mind the next time you’re tempted sexually. Or the next time you want to push your wife for a sex act you know she doesn’t like. Or refuse her sex, if you’re part of the 20% of marriages where that’s an issue.

It’s not difficult to derail us sexually. All it takes is a little lie that we claim for our own. Porn can certainly do that, as can erotica or non-pornographic TV, movies, or books. What our friends say can be even more destructive. Especially some of what we heard as teens, when we had more testosterone than brain cells.

I suggest you spend some time thinking and praying about what you believe about sex. Are there any lies in there? Have you accepted anything the enemy dangled in front of you?

Beyond that, pray. Pray for God to protect you from the temptations the enemy throws at you and to make you wise to his ways. Also pray for your wife, her mind, and her sexuality.

If your wife is open to it, praying together for your sex life and the various temptations you both face would be a great idea.

A post worth reading:

Dr. Corey Carlisle | On being gentlemen ◄ Because unchecked power can do damage.

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WWJD – 2022

by The Generous Husband | Sep 25, 2022 | Audio, Good Marriage, YOU4HER, ZIMAGE

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Do you remember the What Would Jesus Do fad of the 1990s? I always thought “what would Jesus have me do” would be a better question, but WWJHMD didn’t make as catchy an acronym.

I think asking ourselves what Jesus would have us do should be the first question we ask any time we’re faced with a big choice or decision. I’d like to tell you I do that, but in truth, I usually only do it when the issue is major. I have tended to be better about asking that with regard to my marriage, which may well be a big part of why my marriage is so good and happy for both Lori and me.

If your marriage is stuck right now or you have an ongoing problem, I dare you to ask yourself what Jesus would have you do. It won’t do anything for your pride and it will make it impossible to justify some of what you have been doing, but it will make your marriage better.

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