Lord of a revolution? I think not.

by | Jul 4, 2010 | Links to good stuff, None of the Above

This post has nothing to do with marriage – if you want good marriage advice jump down to the links below.

Today, Sunday the 4th of July, is a holiday in the USofA. It is the day we celebrate our “freedom” from the United Kingdom. I enjoy a party with fireworks as much as the next person, but I have long had theological issues with “The War for Independence”. I am not a pacifist, I do believe in a military and in protecting one’s country. I also believe there are valid reasons to be proactive in defending one’s country. That said, I find no theological justification for the Declaration of Independence, or for the war that it caused.

The Bible is exeptionally clear about rulers:

“Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, “ [Romans 13:1,2,6,7a NKJV]

Some argue that the “crimes” of King George voided that Scripture, but if you understand the times and the people Paul was writing to, that claim makes no sense. The Jews, who made up the majority of the Christians Paul was writing to, were a conquered people in the Roman Empire. What they lived under was far worse than anything the “colonies” ever endured was.

Okay, but that was a long time ago. Why does it matter now?

“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king.” [1 Samuel 15:23 NKJV]

God seems to take rebellion rather seriously. How then can a country founded on rebellion be pleasing to God? How can a country formed by violating the Word of God call itself a “Christian Nation”? Can a country repent and change how God sees it? Absolutely. Has the USofA done that? Sadly, I don’t think it has.

Finally, Paul had something to say about freedom:

“And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. “ [Romans 6:18 NKJV]

True freedom results not in the ability to do whatever one wants, but rather it results in great responsibility.

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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

 

Journey to Surrender

The Body Image Battle : A woman’s body image article written FOR HUSBANDS. Great post, and some great links. I’m calling this one a *MUST READ*.

Happily Married After

How To Apologize: Kudos to David for an outstanding post about apologies (and a funny image too!).
How To Accept An Apology : David follows up with the other side of the above – also well done.
Just The Necessities : A post about something I learned far too slowly. Viva la difference!
Date Idea Monday #1 : David and Thea remind us that we need to date each other AFTER the marriage to be Happily Married After.
Tailor Made Needs : “A need does not have to be logical understood to be legitimate.” – David L Patrick I love this statement, and what David has to say about it.

Marriage Gems

For a Happier Marriage, Date Your Spouse : A very important subject, with a book recommendation.
Putting Kids First in Families Harms Children : Review of a new book that suggest that putting the kids “first” harms both your marriage and your kids. I agree 1000%.
Beware of Financial Infidelity : More on how money woes can and does lead to divorce. I confess I don’t feel this one, but I have read the stats and I know it’s true. Checkout Lori’s article, and the links – good stuff!
Oh No, I Married an Extrovert! : A great explanation of the important difference between introverts and extroverts, and the marriage difficulties that can arise. If, like the vast majority of couples, you are one and your bride is the other, I strongly recommend this article.

The Marry Blogger

God’s Talking. Are You Listening? : Stu with a radical (!) suggestion that God might speak to us through our brides.
Wives: How to Never Say No to Sex Again : This post, by thebeautifulwife should apply to far more than just sex. Where do you say no to your bride that you should instead make a counter offer?

Intimacy in Marriage

Making It To First Base : Julie has a great post about relearning to enjoy all aspects of sexual intimacy, not just “home base”.

Simple Marriage

The secret to a lasting marriage : This great post by Cory includes this spot on statement: “When you get right down to it, marriage is not about happiness. Marriage is about two people growing up and becoming better humans.” [Note: The Simple Marriage Site is down for maintenance over the long weekend]

Better Husbands and Fathers

Date Your Wife: Movie Night at Home : Great plan for a cheap date.
Date Your Wife: Kayaking! : Hey, why not? Have fun, make memories.

One Extraordinary Marriage

Dave Ramsey Saved Our Sex Life : Never underestimate how deeply financial problems can harm your marriage. A great post if you are having money problems.

Donald Miller

Your Most Important Business Partner May Surprise You: Donald Miller talks about a group of very successful business men, who say their bride is their most important business partner. Maybe your business would do better if you has the same perspective?

It Might Be Love

The Magic of Getting Away for an Ordinary Date : Another voice saying “dating your spouse is important”.

Engaged Marriage

Green With Envy: How to Overcome Jealousy in Your Marriage : An excellent guest post by Thomas Warren.

Review of A Simple Marriage by Dr. Corey Allan : I have not had a chance to read Corey’s book, so I pass on this review for you to consider the book. Based on what I have read on Corey’s Simple Marriage web site, I would expect the book to be very useful.

Your Marriage Restored

Good Orgasm Bad Marriage : Michael and Annalea of remind us that having sex does not prove your marriage is good.

Concerns List

by | Jun 27, 2010 | Faith walk, Links to good stuff, Understanding Her

Start a “concerns list” for your bride and yourself. Write on that list the things that concern you, that worry you, that you are fearful about. Update regularly, and draw a line through anything that is no longer a concern. Even better, give each concern a 0-10 rating (no concern to “losing my mind”) and change that number each week or month by crossing out the last number and writing in the new one.

The concern list does a number of things – it gives you each a way to express what most concerns you, it makes you aware of what is eating at your spouse, it shows you both how concerns grow, shrink and die, and it’s an awesome prayer reminder tool.


Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

Happy Father’s Day! : “Wives and mothers will agree with me that being a loving father also earns you respect from your children’s mother.” [Lori Lowe, Marriage Gems] Read that several times, it’s very, very important!
How to Practice Being a Better Partner – 5 Tips : This Marriage Gems post, based on information from the book Creating a Marriage You’ll Love by Harriet Lerner, PhD, is a MUST READ.
Is Divorce Contagious? Researchers: Yes. : Lori Lowe has more on a story I mentioned last week.

Am I Too Busy For Marriage? : “….have you ever stopped and wondered if you’re too busy for your marriage? If your answer is yes, why do you suppose we allow ourselves to stay so busy? I’ve seen many couples in my counseling practice who claim that their marriage is a priority but their actions display anything but.” A MUST READ post on Simple Marriage.
Transitions, Simplified : Guest post from Melissa of Peace & Projects on parenting a kid as a divorced parent.

Top 5 Things Every New Husband Should Know: All the things on this Better Husbands and Fathers list are important!
Date Your Wife: Sprint Triathlon: The couple that does a triathlon together … find out at Better Husbands and Fathers.

Daddy’s Girls : A great post on Happily Married After about how your bride’s relationship with her father affects her relationship with you.
Marriage Lesson from “The Godfather” : Happily Married After reminds us that she is our family, and you “don’t ever take sides against anyone against the family”

What is a Spiritual Relationship with your Spouse?: This is the She Just Got Married post that is in the LOVE EVERYDAY e-book. (Be warned the e-book contains one reference that is not compatible with Christina thought).
Divorce is NOT an Option : I was doing some back reading on She Just Got Married, as its new to me, and found this wonderful little post about the importance of how we phrase things.

On Wearing A Ring : Engaged Marriage has a well done guest post from Ali, a young lady who spells things correctly ;-)

Sharing the Love: The Ache for Children : Project M has a good peek into the heart of a woman who longs for children, but has so far been unable to have them.

One of the Marks of God’s Creation is Infinite Complexity : “I often meet people who trust their answers about God, but it doesn’t seem like they trust God. When they but up against the unknown complexities of life, they find security in their own answers. They love their own minds.” More challenging thoughts from Donald Miller

And last, but certainly not least, Journey to Surrender completes a 5 post series on headship.
What If… My Husband Acts Like a Dictator
What If… My Wife Won’t Let Me Lead?
What If…My Personality Doesn’t Fit My Role?

The 1% Experaince – I dare you!

by | Mar 23, 2010 | 1 + 1 = 1, Good Marriage

I was going to link to The 1.0% Experience* in my Sunday round-up, but then I decided it was too good, too important, to risk losing it in a list of links. The idea, in a nut shell, is to give your bride 1% of your time each week “‘practicing the presence’ of each other”. I highly recommend reading this article, sharing it with your bride, and giving it a try for a full month.

*The web site is for a game called “A private affair” – a game designed to improve your sex life. I have not played this game, but have seen a good review by folks I trust, and have played a similar game. I suspect the game is not 100% BC (biblically correct) but it is probably still a great way to learn about each other sexually. The web site is PG -with no nudity.