FF: Two Dates a Month

How long has it been since you had a date with your bride?

A lot of marriage experts advocate a weekly date night. If you can do that, great, but for many cost (including babysitting) and time make weekly difficult. So, while more is better, twice a month is enough to get the necessary effect.

Date night tonight note on door

Lori and I go into town for “provisions” every-other week. We tack our date onto shopping day, saving us money on gas and saving drive time. Some can’t mix a date with shopping (and some couples shouldn’t shop together period!), so do what works for you.

There are a number of ways of making dates less expensive:

  • Swap babysitting with another couple; they get your kids every other week, you get theirs the other half the time. Once in a while, do it on a Friday and keep the kids overnight.
  • Use loyalty cards. Lori and I eat primarily at two places, each of which allows us to earn free meals. Likewise for movies, get a loyalty card and use it.
  • Use coupons whenever possible. Many of the big chains do coupons by email.
  • If you can swing half a weekday off, you can save by eating lunch instead of dinner, and getting lower prices for movies and other things with an admission cost.
  • Do your dates at home, and save for a nice evening out when you have enough.

[This post first appeared Oct 2, 2012.]

 

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FF: Discover the Magic of Outdoor Evenings with Your Wife

I finally got the fire pit set up in the backyard, and Lori and I spent some time out there last night. Not as great as sitting at the beach, but very nice. Something about being outside relaxes the body and refreshes the spirit. We talked a bit, watched the flames, looked at the stars, listened to the crickets and frogs, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It was far better for us than spending the same amount of time in front of the TV!

A couple sitting by a fire pit.

Maybe a fire pit isn’t your thing, or maybe it’s not an option. But there has to be some way you and your wife can spend some time together outside after the sun sets.

[This post first appeared Aug 08, 2012.]

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Friday Flashback: Why Date Night Matters (Even If You’re Sick of Hearing About It)

Are you tired of hearing about date night? I don’t mention it as often as I should, but it’s all over the place, like it’s some magic solution to every marriage problem there is.

Date night tonight note with hugs, kisses, and a heart with an arrow through it.

Date night is not all that, but it is an important part of a healthy marriage. Date night, or date day for that matter, gives the two of you time to connect, talk, and enjoy things together. It gives her a break and allows her to relax. It reconnects her to you emotionally. While all of that is good, the most significant aspect of date night is it tells her you value her enough to spend some of your most limited resource on her.

Be it a nighttime or daytime thing, weekly, or a couple of times a month, a big deal or simple, expensive or cheap, please make time for regular dates. You really don’t want to send her the message you’re too busy for her!

[This post first appeared May 25, 2012.]

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Something To Scream About

There’s a bar and restaurant in Spokane called The Screaming Yak. Lori and I have said many times, “We need to eat there.” A few months ago, after more than a decade of saying that, we finally did it. The food was very good, but even if it hadn’t been, it was fun to do it together.

Screaming Yak log

What have you and your wife talked about doing but have never done? Make a plan to do it together soon!

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Carnivore Date Night

I’ve mentioned Lori and I take our grandkids on Sunday evenings, so their parents can get some time together. They call it date night, and really look forward to it.

Because we live half an hour from anything, they usually stay home. But they have found ways to make it a great time anyway.

A cut of beef ready to be cooked.

Recently they have been buying meat boxes from a local butcher. Every box is different, and you might not find a specific item, but it’s great meat at well below the normal per piece price. When they get a new box, they set aside what they will have for date night. Then Sunday they decide what they want that night, thaw it out, and enjoy.

Date night is what you make it!

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Because You Are Sweet On Her

On the way home from work, stop at a grocery store with an in-store bakery and buy one or two of their fresh made decedent desserts. Most of the great one’s will be in the refrigerator case.

Bakery case full of fancy desserts

After the kids are in bed, serve it up with something she likes to drink. If the kids are older and stay up late, make it a picnic on your bed.

Bonus points for taking it out of the box, putting it on a nice plate, and drizzling an appropriate topping over the dessert and the plate.

A post worth reading:

Seth’s Blog | If it’s all in bold ◄ To the point and brilliant.

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Put Your Marriage First At Year’s End

What’s on the agenda for New Year’s? Do you have a party to attend? Will you be out past midnight?

I’m all for fun with family and friends, but don’t sideline your marriage to do that. Before the party, have a coffee date or a nice lunch with your wife. If you have to arrive late, so be it.

Couple kissing at new year's eve party with sparklers.

Then take this dynamic into 2023. Put your wife and your marriage first, and let everything else fight for the time and energy you have left. The reward for doing this will be huge.

A post worth reading:

Seth’s Blog | “You’re right” ◄ Also good with your wife.

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A Christmas Date

Your mission, should you accept it, is to arrange a date with your wife between December 18th and 24th. Yes, that’s the week of Christmas. Yes, you are already busy. And yes, the two of you really need a break together.

Happy couple at an outdoor Christmas bazaar in winter coats and hats.

If you have young children, finding a sitter may be tricky. All the high school kids are out of school, so that helps. Everyone has all kinds of events, so the demand for sitters is up. One good way to deal with this is to set your date for some time during the day. How about a slow breakfast or brunch? What about taking a half day off and spending the afternoon together?

If you can’t manage a “real date,” arrange one at home. Get some amazing heat-to-eat or take-out food, including a really nice dessert. Then eat together while you watch Christmas movies – I mean it is the season to sacrifice, right? If you can’t get a sitter, set the kids up with dinner and a movie in the living room and barricade yourselves in the bedroom. Tell your wife you will answer every disaster the kids can come up with and tell the kids Santa considers interrupting mommy and daddy adult time to be naughty.

This is no mission impossible, but it will take some work. And your wife will understand that and be blessed you care enough to do it for her.

And, yes, it would be nice if your wife is so impressed with this that she undresses and invites you to get jolly. But don’t ask for or expect it. This is about you doing for her and for your marriage. Of course, if she offers you sex it would be rude to say no, as giving is more blessed than receiving.

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