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This post is mostly a repeat of what I said to the ladies yesterday over on The XY Code. I think it’s an important issue, and I want as much exposure as possible. There is a post script at the bottom for husbands.

A new book that talks about kids and parents is getting a lot of press. Some love it. Some hate it. The book is The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind, and the title should tell you why some folks hate it. We’ve been told that kids do fine as long as they have a loving parent. We’ve been told two parents isn’t really better, and that those who claim a child needs a father are old-fashioned or misogynistic. 

Author Melissa Kearney offends even more people by saying children of a married couple are even better off than those raised by a couple who are not married. What makes her book really offensive is that she supports her claims with data. She shows that children from single mother homes are less likely to graduate from high school, get a college degree, or have high earnings as adults. What’s more, children of a single mother are five times as likely to live in poverty. 

As for marriage, Kearney says, “If you just look in the data, marriage is what delivers kids a stable, long-term, two-parent household in this country.”

What I really want to focus on is that the US has the highest rate of children living in a single-parent household IN THE WORLD! Various sources say 27% of our kids live with a single parent, and no other adult! And 80% of these are with their mother.

Why do we lead the world in this? Why are we having this problem? In a country where almost two-thirds of the population claims to be Christian, we can’t blame this on the world. European countries with lower percentages of Christians have fewer children in single-parent homes. What are we doing wrong, and how do we fix it? How does the Church address this?

I don’t have answers, this is primarily about raising awareness. We need to do what we can to help couples in trouble. We also need to speak up when we see bad marriages in the making before the couple says “I do”. Don’t sit by and watch someone you care about make a mistake that will hurt them and any children they have. I’d also encourage you to be a squeaky wheel about this in your church. Caring for marriages needs to be a major push in every church in the country.

Now for husbands. This information means “staying for the kids” is both valid and important. I know men who stayed in a dead, miserable marriage for their children, and I have a great deal of respect for them. They will never get the acclaim they deserve, but then that’s not why they did it. I know some of you will face this choice, and I encourage you to understand how what you choose will affect your children for the rest of their lives.

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