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Yesterday I said a lot of bad marriage behaviour is a result of folks seeking attention and/or respect from their spouse. Then I told you to give your wife more attention and respect, as if you’re the only one guilty in this.
I have no doubt most of you need more attention and respect from your wives. But you telling her that is not likely to bring about positive results. I’m talking to you, and you can change you, so I focused on that.
The other thing at play here is that when both spouses need to change, the one who acts is the one who is more emotionally mature. The less mature spouse waits for the other to act, and then reacts to what was done.
I’m calling on you to be the more emotionally mature one in your marriage. In other words, grow up! As someone who believes in headship, I don’t think we have an option on this. Being the husband God called us to be requires us to relentlessly pursue emotional maturity.
If you want to make a serious run at this, I suggest the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature. I’ve read this book twice in the last decade, and will be doing it for a third time with our life group soon. It’s challenging, but if you work at it, you will grow up a bit. Or maybe a lot. And that will be very good for your marriage!
I went for the audio version this time, but you can do Kindle or old school book if you like.
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Thanks for the book suggestion! I will order it.