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Lori and I keep seeing ads for Georgie & Mandy’s First Marriage. Yes, I know why it’s called that. I still hate the title and what it suggests.
That said, I’d like to talk to you about your second marriage. To the woman you currently call your wife.
Lori and I have dealt with couples who could have had a great marriage if they had just got married, as they had become. They had both grown and become much better people who could have a good marriage. But one or both of them were unwilling to let go of the past. They were angry, hurt, or bitter about things that no longer happened. And all too often, such couples end up with a divorce that’s not necessary.
If this sounds like your marriage, please consider agreeing to start over. You could have a vow renewal ceremony, or just make a commitment in front of a few fiends. Decide that everything that happened during your “first marriage” will not be part of your second marriage. If any of those things happen again, then it’s a second marriage issue. Otherwise, you won’t discuss them, fight about them, or let them affect how you act.
Give it a try, because a second marriage without a divorce is way better for everyone!
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what do you mean by ‘let go of the past’? How does anyone let go of past traumas of which they are not consciously aware?
Years ago I knew a couple that had been divorced twice and married three times – all with each other. Apparently, they couldn’t stand to be together and they couldn’t stand to be apart.
She went so far as to say that she couldn’t see how she could have sex with anyone but him. They seemed very happy when I knew them.