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For women, good sex is all about timing.
First, you have to pick a good time to have sex. That means she’s not tired or stressed. It means she has enough time to not feel rushed. And it means you’ve been loving and decent recently.
As you move from “do ya wanna?” to climax, timing is critical. If you rush a step, it reduces her enjoyment. If you don’t spend enough time kissing and making out lightly, she may need more manual stimulation. It can also be a problem if you spend too much time on a step. If you don’t start intercourse when she’s ready, she may get frustrated or lose interest.
And finally, there’s teasing; getting her close and slowing down or stopping. Some women hate teasing. Some enjoy a bit of it. Some have their best orgasms when they are teased a good deal. In addition to each woman being different about this, each time is also different. Learning when to tease, and how much to tease, can make sex much better for her.
Yes, it’s complicated. Your wife may or may not be willing to guide you. And she may not even know what she wants well enough to clue you in! So it’s trial and error, and the result are well worth the effort.
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Complicated is an understatement. For the average guy it takes days of being the model husband….doing everything just right. Then maybe just maybe you get the chance at more than a simple kiss. Then you really have to be on your game, not to fast , not to slow, not much pressure, be aggressive enough , be attentive, smell good, have teeth brushed and mouth washed, make sure the lighting is right, make sure the room temp is right, can’t be to late at night, make sure TV is providing the perfect amount of background noise, have lube handy, turn phone off….these are just a few things to consider if you want it to go OK. I’d you want to Rock her world then you must really put some thought into it. Then just when you figure out one piece of the puzzle….Bam! Combination has changed. Start over and quit being lazy about it. How is you wife ever going have a good time when you don’t put in enough effort?
@Chuck – I’m sorry if that is your experience. I would not call it average.
In my wife’s case there is no such thing as good sex. She has to resist any ‘advances’ from me even at the cost of her own pleasure and satisfaction. She has no pleasant touch sensitivity in part of her body and I don’t think she even has a clitoris. Married 44 years.
It doesn’t matter how rare this situation is – for me it is normal.