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You have no doubt heard of the orgasm gap. If you have somehow managed to miss it, the short version is when a man has sex with a woman, he is far more likely to come than she is. Most of the time when this is discussed, the gist of it is this happens because men are selfish and/or bad at sex.
If one digs into the facts, the situation is not as it is usually portrayed.
In a hook-up or one-night stand situation, the woman’s chance of having an orgasm is indeed low, while the man’s chances are high. In an ongoing casual relationship, the woman’s chances are a bit better. And in a long term marriage, the woman’s odds of orgasm are almost as good as the man’s.
It’s not an orgasm gap. It’s an intimacy gap. Most men find it easy to enjoy sex without an intimate relationship. Most women find it difficult to do that. So, sex without a real intimate relationship, has a high orgasm gap. And sex with a committed intimate relationship has a much smaller gap.
If there’s a significant orgasm gap in your marriage, a lack of intimacy is the most likely reason for that. If you say, “My wife just doesn’t want to come as often as I do,” her lack of desire may be about a lack of non-sexual intimacy.
It’s not the only reason for a marriage orgasm gap, but it’s a common one. What’s more, it may intensify the effect of other things.
Just something to ponder.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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