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Yesterday, I talked to the woman on the XY Code about the words they use for sex. I suggested men don’t want their wife using the same words she uses with the kids, and most are not thrilled with cold, clinical words like “vulva” or “intercourse”. You’re welcome.
Today, I want to talk about the words you use. Many women are put off by the words their husband uses for sex. That can negatively impact the sex you have, up to and including causing her to say no when she would have said yes.
Some of this is about words a woman considers dirty or obscene. Why she feels that way is not as relevant as the fact that she does. At best, using those words makes her feel you’re crude. It might also cause her to feel you see her as a place to satisfy your sex drive rather than someone you love.
Another part of this is that women are insulted or put down with certain words. The “c word” for her genitals is the big one. Many women have been called that, as a put down or even a threat. If you use that word, it doesn’t have an effect you want. Other words are a problem because a former boyfriend used them to demand sex, or to try to get sex she didn’t want to engage in.
Ask your wife what sex words she would like to never hear from you. Ask her what non-clinical or childish words she finds acceptable. If nothing she is okay with does it for you, work on your own code words or euphemisms for sex.
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