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I suggested this last week on The XY Code. I didn’t get the feedback I would have liked, but one woman said “Sounds doable” and no one screamed, so there is that.
The short version is your wife brings you to orgasm on odd numbered days.
As to how, when, and where that happens, that’s all up to her. First thing in the morning or before dinner because she knows she won’t have the energy at bedtime are valid choices. Hand jobs and quickies are just fine. When she wants sex for her, she’ll let you know. On very rare occasions when she just can’t, she will tell you to do it while she involves herself in some way.
The obvious benefit to this, if it happens, is you get more sex. Much of it isn’t the sex you want, but it’s a start. A benefit for her is the pressure is off. Pressure to have sex is a big deal for women, and can really put them off sex. Some women who followed this plan would start wanting sex for them more as it became their choice.
Another good thing for her is that she’s in control. If you climb into bed and nothing has happened, you can remind her it’s an odd day. Beyond that, you say nothing, and you don’t hint. I know a lot of men think their low drive wife is in control of sex, but that is not how their wife feels. If she can give you what you need and feel like she has some say about it, that’s a win for both of you.
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We’ve been struggling with this for years.
I like this idea, this would help meet my need to be sexually intimate with her. What I miss – deeply- is sexual intimacy between us.
If she could do this with a willing heart, coming from a genuine place of love – it would respond to my need for sexual intimacy with her.
Every other day is probably WAY to much to ask of the lower desire spouse. Way too much.
But – every weekend? That would be a vast improvement for us. Some kind of sexual intimacy once a week would be a vast improvement. Vast.
@Fred – If you are choosing between what you need and what you think you can get, I’m very sorry. It’s not a wrong choice to make, it’s just sad so many folks have to make such a choice.
I’m not sure she will go for this because it’s not wanting her to be intimate… It’s asking her to be a masturbation tool,in her mind anyway… How can this work if she wants to be “intimate” but not desire any sexual intercourse…
@Jerry – So the problem is her thinking?
Any kind of sex can be intimate. It’s a matter of how you do it.