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Last week on Doing Marriage Well, Lori talked about sacrificing for our spouse. It’s absolutely something all of us should be doing in large and small ways. But I wonder if the word sacrifice is the best way to talk about this. Some of what I do “for my wife” does involve sacrifice. But some of what I do “for her” doesn’t feel at all like sacrifice.
If I ask her where she wants to eat and go with whatever she says, I have technically sacrificed my preference, but it’s not that big a deal. If she wants to have sex a different way than I do, and we do it her way, we still had sex! There are all kinds of ways in which I let her choose when, how, or where, that I would not describe as sacrifice.
There are also things I don’t do, or don’t do around her, that don’t feel much like sacrifice. I suppose part of this is the fact that I love my wife, and I genuinely like doing things that make her happy. Then there’s the reality that she does the same for me in many ways all the time.
If it feels you’re doing too much sacrificing for your wife, or being asked to do too much, might that be a sign of a relationship issue? Perhaps you feel put upon because things are not as they should be between the two of you.
Something to consider.
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