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On Tuesday, I talked about emotional self-regulation, and choosing to not self-regulate in order to manipulate your spouse. And I suspect some of you thought your wife does this when she cries.
I know some women use tears to get their way, or to punish their guy. But it’s not as common as some men think, and it’s hardly the only reason a woman cries.
Unlike most men, women are not generally taught tears are a sign of weakness. They never got made fun of, or worse, for crying. Women have been given “permission” to feel and express their emotions, and they do so. We find it difficult to deal with this because we can’t relate to it. Most men get uncomfortable when a woman cries, but that doesn’t mean she is doing it for that reaction.
Crying communicates how your wife feels, just as laughing or a squeal of joy does. Rather than focusing on how she expresses an emotion, consider the actual emotion. Unless you have good reason to think otherwise, take crying at face value. Deal with it as if it’s nothing more than an expression of how she feels.
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Women’s eyes also produce more tears than men’s. All those tears have to go somewhere. So we cry when we’re feeling happy, sad, sentimental, angry, confused, or sometimes, when we’re just completely exhausted.
That befuddled my husband when we first married. Now he just calmly rolls with it.