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I have a five-year-old grandson who has issues with emotional self-regulation. He’s past full-on meltdowns, but he still struggles to behave acceptably when he is disappointed or disciplined. This is to be expected at his age, and I have no doubt he will get past it.
Unfortunately, some adults still struggle with emotional self-regulation. But it’s usually situational. If you throw a fit at work, you could lose your job. If you raise your voice too much in public, folks will avoid you. But we feel it’s safe at home, so our spouse and/or kids get most of our ugly self-regulation failures.
Just as some children learn they can manipulate their parents by throwing a fit, some spouses learn they can get their way by behaving badly. Or threatening to do so, especially in public. I had a girlfriend who did the latter to me, and it’s a big part of why she never became my wife.
If your wife does this to you, the only solution is NEVER. GIVE. IN. This may or may not put an end to it, but if you ever cave, you ensure much more of the same.
OTOH, if you do this, you really need to stop. Even if it works in the moment, it’s tearing up your marriage. If you want a good marriage, if you want to stay married, you need to knock it off!
BTW, some men, who generally don’t do this, do it when they seek sex and get told no. Please know this does nothing to cause your wife to desire to be sexual with you then, or in the future!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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