FF: Regrets of the Dying: A Wake-Up Call for Living Authentically

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Bronnie Ware has spent years in “palliative care” – meaning she works with those who know they are dying. Her article Regrets of the Dying is very interesting reading, and I highly suggest you check it out.

I’m encouraged by Bronnie saying many people make significant changes in their last days and weeks. We think we can’t change, or can’t change much, but this isn’t true. Change is limited by our fears and self-imposed limits.

Below are the top five regrets of the dying, according to Bronnie, followed by my comments.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I’m all for sacrificing for others, but that’s not the same as allowing others to limit us, or push us to be what they want us to be. This would include not being as good a husband or father as you could be because of what others will think of you. Beyond, yourself, do all you can to ensure your wife doesn’t feel this regret at the end of her life. Don’t do it to her, and don’t allow anyone else to do it to her.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

I’ve spoken of this before. Work should be how we make money, not how we feel we have worth and value.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Don’t go along to get along; it’s dishonest, and it doesn’t result in good relationships. If you choose to let something go, fine, but if it eats at you, then you haven’t really let it go.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

This is a bigger and bigger issue as our society becomes more and more mobile. Long-term friends are a benefit in many ways, and we need to learn how to value and keep those friendships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Yes, it’s a choice. Even if your life sucks, happiness is a choice you can make. You can be a lot less stressed and a lot happier if you change how you think and act.

All of these can be taken in wrong directions, and can be done in selfish or destructive ways. However, the similarity of the five says something about our society, and it would be good for us to examine our lives and consider if we may one day have these regrets. It might be an excellent l discussion to have with your wife.

[This post first appeared Aug 16, 2012.]

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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