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This is a by request post about male sex drive declining with age.
All men will experience this, but to varying degrees. Many men with high drives when they are young will have a higher drive than their peers for life. But there are exceptions. General health is an issue, and some men just lose their drive faster. Testosterone can be a factor, as it’s what fuels our libido. But a man’s relationship with his wife is also a factor, and I think a much bigger one. A guy with low testosterone in a great marriage is likely to want more sex than a guy the same age with high testosterone in a bad marriage.
If you’ve depended on your physical drive, you may have some concerns as you get older. If you learned along the way to desire sex for intimacy, declining physical drive is probably not as big an issue.
When we’re young, our screaming drive allows us to have sex when we’re tired, or stressed, or not feeling it emotionally. But as we get older, we lose the push to get past those things. This means getting enough sleep, not being stupid busy, and being emotionally connected to our wives become necessary for regular sex.
Then there’s physical ability versus desire. Some guys can get erect and even climax if they push themselves to do it. Other guys can’t get hard, or can, but then can’t come.
If you want more sex than your body allows you to have, there is a way. Have sex often, but don’t climax every time. Enjoy the ride, give her an orgasm is she wants it, and then snuggle up and continue being intimate. When you do this and feel you really need to orgasm, then do so.
Beyond that, sex is way more than intercourse. Feel on each other for enjoyment or for orgasms for one or both of you. Or lie together and masturbate.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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I’ve welcomed the changes that come with age.
As a young man, my active sex drive was a burden. A burden on me, and clearly a burden on my wife.
Now that I am much older, that drive has slowed down. I am still rejected a lot, but with my drive down, it is easier to cope.
Agreed. I’m not particularly old yet and my sex drive is still quite strong but it has begun to subside a little. It isn’t much but it has been an extremely welcome change, even as things are slowly continuing to improve in our marriage and sex life. Things are often better in that area of our marriage now but not always and the frequency still hasn’t changed much. So, it is an enormous blessing when I have to wait a while.
I am concerned, with the marriage improvement, that she will finally come around and begin to want it more just as my drive is shutting down. Still, we’re a long way from that yet. So I’ll continue to be thankful for the change in my drive. I still REALLY want it and much more often than I get it but it is no longer the absolute misery that it once was.
@Robert – It’s sad it was a burden, but I get it!
I can only hope this happens to me. I never considered myself as high drive as I only wanted 3 or 4 times a week ,but even though my wife said she wanted the same it has never gotten there. Most of our marriage has been 1 time a month or less and even though I never ask when I know she is not going to be in the mood I am still told all I ever think about is sex. I am about to turn 50 and I feel no different now than 20yr ago when we got married.
Now you’re talking Karezza, my friend!
@James -Not really. Doing that, he man never climaxes, and depending on which version one follows, the woman may or may not. And they make all kinds of claims contrary to science.