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I have a friend who had a significant stroke some years ago. Among other things, it messed up his sense of taste. He told me he was taught to retrain his sense of taste by choosing one type of food and eating that multiple times a week while focusing on the flavour. He started with seafood. He’s not recovered all of his taste, but there are now some foods he can enjoy.
The same approach works with sex.
Sometimes age or an injury makes the way a couple preferred to have sex difficult or impossible. Other times, one of them wants to expand the ways they can climax. While this is more common for women, I’ve talked to men who were in this situation. One common one is finding it difficult to climax from oral sex.
To make such a change, do whatever you select most of the time you have sex. Take it slow and focus on the feelings. Initially use it to get aroused, then switch to something else to come. Each time, get closer and closer to climax before you switch, until you do come from it. Or you could get really close in some other way, then switch to the new thing to finish.
If your wife is the one trying to expand her orgasm repertoire, be aware she will need good clitoral stimulation to come.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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Men who think they can only satisfy their wives with an erection are shortchanging themselves and their wives. They need to learn how to find her clitoris and how she likes it stimulated. Don’t be afraid to use vibrators or other toys.The response can be wonderful.
Look, I am an old guy. Not ancient, but in my mid-60s. This is an issue I have thought about, since I know that erections change with age.
We’ve talked about this. My bride worries that if I “can’t get it up” she might take it personally. We’ve talked about that, and talked about my pretty broad view of what satisfying, connecting sex can look like. And, that it does not have to center entirely on P in V intercourse.
My pleasure springs off of hers. As long as she has a *really* good time, I am going to find plenty of satisfaction, connection, bonding and love in our sexual intimacy.