Podcast: Download
Subscribe RSS
Tuesday, I asked you to not minimise the trauma in your past. Today, I want to urge you to not minimise the trauma your wife has suffered.
It’s easy to dismiss our wife’s trauma as insignificant because we don’t understand it. Aside from gender differences, she has a different mind, a different personality, and different life experiences. We can’t see her trauma from her perspective, so we don’t understand it. But if she’s not dealt with it, it still affects her, and your marriage.
As I said Tuesday, how badly trauma hurts us depends on many things. A “small” thing that happens over and over can be huge. An event that remains hidden because of shame or fear can be crippling. If she had a trusted adult to talk with when it happened, she may have little fall out from it.
Sexual trauma is common for women. In fact, it’s nearly universal. It could be as seemingly minor as a boyfriend who grabbed her clothed breast, or as major as being repeatedly raped. It might come from words or looks, with no physical touch. All of that can result in trauma, and if she’s not dealt with it, then it’s still influencing her sexuality, and hurting your sex life.
Regardless of how your wife has been traumatised, her life will improve is she gets help dealing with it. Odds are you’re not the person to help her, but you can urge her to get help and then support her as she does. The book I mentioned yesterday might be a good starting place. Read it separately and discuss it.
Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
Leave a Reply