Vibrators Can Enhance Intimacy as Well as Pleasure

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There was some push-back on my recent posts about using a vibrator during sex. I fully expected that. I’m going to address one of the most common concerns.

One claim I hear is that vibrators get in the way of intimacy. But I also hear the opposite almost as often. So I would guess it’s more about the minds of those involved. And the situation. A woman being unable to climax when she wants to gets in the way of intimacy. A man hearing “I’m not going to come, you go ahead and finish” interferes with feeling intimate. And not even wanting to have sex because it’s just too much of a hassle does not lead to intimacy!

If I give my wife an orgasm with a vibrator, I am giving her an orgasm. I’m using a vibe instead of my mouth, my hand, or my penis. Or, I’m using the vibe along with one of those body parts. I don’t just stick it between her legs and wait for her to come. I move it. I play with her. I tease her. I control the speed and amount of contact to build her to the edge, and then I make a change that I know will take her over that edge. Or I back off, let her cool down just a bit, and start in again, to give her more pleasure. To me, using or not using a vibrator is like the difference between finger painting and using a brush. Both are valid art forms. Some folks prefer one over the other. But in both cases, I’m the artist.

I think some guys worry about not being “man enough” to give their wife an orgasm without a vibrator. As I see it, if a vibe means she comes more easily, harder, longer, more often, or more times in a row, then I need to be “man enough” to do that for her. And when I have done it, she is awash in the hormones and brain chemicals that cause bonding. So as we lay there afterwards, we are experiencing great intimacy.

The other concern I hear regularly is that a vibe will train a woman so that she can’t orgasm without it. I’ll discuss that next Saturday.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly vis stockdreams.ai
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