Delayed Orgasm: Causes, Treatments, and A Revolutionary Vibrator for Men

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This started out a requested post on delayed ejaculation. I’ve not written about the subject for years, so I wanted to make sure I was current. In doing so, I found a device that should help with this that is also great for those with erectile difficulty. So if you’re in the latter camp, scroll down that way.

Delayed orgasm, or DO, is rare and poorly researched. It was originally called retarded ejaculation. Today it is mostly delayed orgasm or delayed ejaculation. Best guess is it affects three percent of men, and is more common in old age. There is no clear definition, but it’s recurring difficulty, delay, or inability to orgasm after sufficient stimulation during partnered sex. Some men only have a problem during intercourse. Some struggle during any sex act with a partner, and a few can’t even masturbate with their partner watching.

The causes of DO are varied. In some men, it stems from a long habit of masturbating in a way that is very dissimilar from sex. It can be mostly mental, due to fear or anxiety, childhood abuse, or being taught that sex is bad. A fear of causing pregnancy can cause it. Drugs can cause the problem. SSRIs are a common reason, with men on such drugs having a seven-fold increase in DO. The list of other culprits includes high blood pressure medication, drugs for baldness, and drugs to treat prostate growth. ED drugs may also be a factor, indirectly. ED drugs can help a man get an erection without being really aroused, and not aroused enough to climax. Very low testosterone levels can do it, but this is uncommon. Frequent masturbation can cause it, as can heavy porn use. And finally, DO can result from loss of sensation in the penis. This can be from damage, or age.

Dealing with most of these is straight forward. A doctor can help change drugs or add something to counteract a problem drug. The man can stop masturbating or watching porn. When it’s mental, psychotherapy can help, although this tends to be a slow process. There are a few drugs being used off label, but nothing yet has shown to be particularly effective.

Beyond treating the cause, applying strong vibrations to the frenulum (the tag of skin on the underside of the penis that goes from the head to the shaft) helps. In one study, 72% of men who have been unable to climax were able to do so at least some of the time with a strong vibrator,

And that brings us to the Hot Octopuss. This is a vibrator based on a medical device used to obtain semen from men who can’t ejaculate. It produces a pulse, rather than vibrations, and this is more effective for men. It wraps around the head of the penis, and it works with an erect or soft penis. It can also be used with your wife for sex without an erection. Lie like you would for missionary, with your penis between your bodies pointing to your heads. Put the Hot Octopuss in place, and it will stimulate both of you. Or you could do it with her on top.

The basic Hot Octopuss is about $100. If it makes orgasm possible again, or makes it much easier, it’s well worth it. The solo version will work for either you or your wife to use on your penis. If you want to use it for couple sex, the remote-controlled version allows you to change the settings from a watch like remote.