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We did a little poll on Facebook asking wives if they wanted lingerie for Christmas.
Just under half said yes, some was nice, while only 8% said the more, the better. A full quarter said it was okay, but they saw it as a gift for him, not for them. Seventeen percent would rather have a gift certificate so they can pick out what they like. About ten percent said what he buys is uncomfortable, or does not fit, or makes them feel like a thing rather than a person.
Before you decide this poll says most wives would like some Christmas lingerie, please realise the poll audience is a decidedly pro-sex group of Christian women. In a group more representative of women as a whole, I would expect to see more negative answers.
Part of the issue is women as a whole tend to feel more defined by their clothes than men do. What she chooses to wear is an expression of how she sees herself, and what you buy her is thus an expression of how you see her. While the panties you buy her mean to you that she is sexy, they may communicate something different, and unkind, to her.
So be careful here. If in doubt, don’t buy lingerie. If you think it’s okay, err on the side of too little and not as sexy as you think she can handle. If you want to get something, but have no clue how to shop for it, check out my Buying lingerie without dying of embarrassment article. By the way, all of the above is even truer for giving her sex toys!
[This post first appeared Dec 8, 2012.]
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