Embrace Your Spouse’s Dreams to Deepen Your Marriage

The meal shown here is the result of a long-term dream and a great deal of effort.

I dispatched the quail, while Lori went foraging for chanterelle mushrooms. The thyme came from our garden, and while those potatoes were store bought, we have grown our own and will do a great many of them next year.

Dinner of quail, mashed potatoes, and mushrooms.

I’ve always loved to garden, as has Lori. But a few years ago, Lori got serious about gowning our own food. We’ve put a good deal of time into building infrastructure – raised beds, a hoop house, and palaces for chickens and quail. And tilling and weeding a whole lot of grassy areas into places to plan crops! We’re growing sunflower seeds and amaranth for bird feed, and we’re selling enough quail eggs to pay for their food beyond what we grow. We just moved our first batch of quail from our own eggs out of the brooder, and last week we had chicken soup made from a “retired” egg laying hen.

This dream of Lori’s has become our dream. We enjoy planning and doing it together, and the feeling of eating a meal that is mostly from our land is amazing. Doing this as a couple has drawn us closer together.

On my own, I would never have taken food production as far as we have gone. But it was not something I was opposed to, and I saw how much Lori wanted to do it, so I jumped on board. She has done the same with my dreams in the past – most notably driving around the country in an RV.

A great marriage is one where the couple shares things. They develop common dreams and goals, and enjoy fulfilling them together. It doesn’t matter who has the dream originally, as long as you can both embrace it.

Note: You can see some of our garden in the image on my The Blessing of Living in Community post. That’s just a fraction of it.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly
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