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My wife, who is not a big complainer, recently expressed frustration over the fact that sex is easier for me than it is for her. She’s right, and I wish it were not so. But here’s the thing – we’ve read a lot about sex and have talked to a lot of folks about sex, and we know Lori has it better than average.
When is the last time it took half an hour of foreplay to get you erect? When did you last struggle for ten, twenty, or more minutes to reach orgasm? Have you ever been unable to come, even though you wanted and needed to do so? Ever turned down sex because you knew you would be left horny? Or said no because as nice as it sounded, it just didn’t seem worth the time and effort? Have you ever felt left out because your wife came, and you didn’t? Ever done something just for her and wished you could have come too? Most women have experienced more than one of these. Some, all of them.
I’ve talked about why these things are, and I’ve given suggestions to try to mitigate them. But the reality is these things happen to women, and there’s no easy fix. In fact, some of it can’t be changed.
My reason for telling you all this is so you’ll understand her struggles with sexuality. Please believe it’s sometimes difficult. Please know much of that is beyond her control. Be compassionate, and ask her how you can help. And be willing to sometimes go to sleep horny because anything she does for you will just lead to greater frustration for her.
You can’t fix this, but being understanding will make her feel better.
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