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This is a follow-up on yesterday’s post about how clutter affects women. In his book entitled Goodbye, Things, minimalist Fumio Sasaki introduced the idea of the silent to-do list. He suggested that our possessions send us silent messages. Wash me, charge me, water me, read me, put me up, and on and on. Each item demands our attention for upkeep and use, and that can suck the life out of us.
I found this idea odd. But when I discussed it with Lori, she was all over it. She was immediately able to point to several things around us that were calling for her attention. I never knew!
I sort of got it by thinking of a way in which I am similar. I ignore visual clutter, but auditory clutter drives me crazy. As I write this, I am wearing headphones with music to drown out the refrigerator and the dehumidifier. If I didn’t do that, it would take me both more time and more mental/emotional energy to get this post out.
Based on what I shared yesterday, the odds are you don’t have nearly as much of a possession generated silent to-do list as your wife. But if it’s making your wife’s life more difficult, it’s making your life more difficult. Besides, you want to make things better because you love her, right?
Talk to your wife about this concept, and then make changes that will improve her life.
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Truth. Your point about the audio clutter is well taken. I *usually* am much more sensitive to audio clutter than my wife is. It gives me a good tool to use.
I don’t think my wife realized herself how much clutter would bother her when we first married.
Oh, she knew that she would have a problem with the stereotypical socks left on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, etc but she brought a lot of decorations and such that have since moved to storage. There were a lot of really neat or cute little wall hangings, shelves of precious moments figurines and such. It gave the house a nice, personal, feminine touch.
But… we have rarely lived anywhere that had the low amount of dust that her parents’ house did. Typically it has been old houses or rentals and dust has been a constant problem. It soon became clear that keeping all of those things and their shelves clean and free of dust was a full time job.
I started to pull some of those things out after one move to ask where she wanted them but they were deemed too much work. It saddens me, on the one hand, to see her personal decorations largely left in storage. On the other hand, I recognize that they added more to the cleaning and such when we’re already often overwhelmed. It was probably a wise decision. Truth be told, a lot of that stuff in storage needs to go to a new home so we have less stuff. I’m just sentimental at heart and struggle to let such things go. Maybe someday, after the kids are grown…