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More of what Jesus said about being a good husband:
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. ~ MT 7:1-2 ESV
Yes, I am going to suggest we should apply this passage to our marriages.
No one likes being judged. Even when I know I am wrong, I don’t like it. What’s more, being judged doesn’t generally motivate people in helpful ways. Judgement is met with excuses, justification, or pointing out the faults of the one who is doing the judging.
Far worse, I think our judging can interfere with God moving on people’s hearts. If judgement makes your wife defensive about an issue, then she is less likely to feel God moving on her heart about that issue.
BTW, saying “I didn’t like it when you ____” or “I felt slighted when you said ____” is not judging. You can and should tell your wife when her words or actions hurt you. But make it about how you feel rather than attacking what she did.
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I needed this today. I will apply this in my relationship with my wife. Thank you for following God’s direction in the articles you write. This is my first time commenting, but I deeply appreciate your work. God bless!
Wow, such a timely message for me as well. I would like to continue the discussion to get your thoughts on if offering constructive feedback towards her actions on various situation falls within this category of Judging. Consider situations in parenting or even interactions with customer service representatives. I find myself always having to creatively find ways to say something that’s not meant to be harmful or passing judgement.