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This is another in the What Jesus Said About Being a Good Husband series. Today, Matthew 5:38 and the first part of 39:
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ~ ESV
This verse is not about pacifism, being a doormat, or ignoring physical, mental, or emotional abuse. The slap was an insult. Think of a time when slapping another man meant a duel to the death. Metaphorically, slap means any insult or slight. And it’s not unlimited. Matthew Henry’s commentary says it is about suffering “any injury that can be borne”.
There have no doubt been times in your marriage where your wife has insulted you or questioned your integrity in a way that felt like a slap. The natural reactions are anger or a strong defence. But experience probably tells you neither of those reduces tension or brings you closer. Even worse, going on the attack, returning insult for insult just makes things worse.
Turning the other cheek means letting it go. If she has questioned your love or integrity, you could say “I love you”, or “I’m always faithful to you.” But leave it at that.
If your wife has acted out of anger or hurt, your soft answer puts it back on her. Does she really mean what she said? Is it true? Or does she owe you an apology? If you give God and her conscience a chance to work on her, she may retract her statement.
Of course, if your wife does this kind of thing often, something needs to be done. If she believes what she is saying, you should wonder why she believes those things, and what you could do to show her she is wrong. If you think she says such things to hurt you, then you should probably get third party help.
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