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Do you have sex at the end of date night? Is that iffy? Does not knowing if sex will happen keep you from being present or from enjoying your time together?
What if you had sex at the start of date night? I mean, yeah, you won’t turn down sex any time, but would before you went out make your date night better for you? What about your wife, would it make date night better for her?
Talk to your wife and ask her if sometimes doing this would be an option, and if she thinks it could be a good idea. From a hand job in the shower to a quickie to full sex, let her take your mind off of your sex drive, so you can fully share your time with her.
If you suggest this, tell her it will allow you to focus on her and enjoy your time together better. If she understands the why, she may be more likely to give it a try.
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How I wish! Sex is never guaranteed or even a “most likely” thing before or after date night. On the contrary, it rarely happens on date nights. It’s as though the date takes all of the energy she has budgeted for the relationship for several days. I think maybe she wants to know that I’m not just taking her out as a way to get sex. Considering that we rarely have sex on a date night and I continue to take her out on dates, I would think it would be clear by now but maybe she just wants to keep that clear indefinitely.
For that matter, she seems to take umbrage at the idea of sex being included with any sort of special day, including my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and New Years. That’s not to say it has never happened but if I suggest it on one of those days, I clearly see the brakes come on and an instant distance appears between us. It probably has to do with our history but it’s very important to me and I keep praying that she will eventually realize that and work with me.
Yes, we have discussed this. I can’t guarantee that she remembers it. She is as prone to conveniently forgetting such conversations as any spouse is inconvenient conversations, but we have discussed it more than once.
How I would LOVE for date night to include us having close intimate sex! Even something quick would be nice. Yes, I do struggle with the concept that taking her on a date pretty much means we won’t come together intimately for at least a couple more days. Yes, I am also actively trying to leave this burden in God’s much more capable hands, too.