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I’ve lost count of the number of times a man who is regularly refused sex by his wife has said, “But she always comes when we do have sex.” In his mind, her orgasm means she enjoyed it, and he can’t figure out why she’s not interested in doing it more often.
A woman’s orgasm doesn’t mean what most men think it means. All it proves is that her body works, and he knows how to simulate her effectively. Orgasm is a reflex; provide enough of the right kind of stimulation and it happens. There are, sadly, documented cases of men and women experiencing orgasm as a result of sexual molestation, including when the victim feared for their life. Sure, what is going on in the mind can speed up or slow down the orgasmic reflex, but it can’t prevent it.
If you have learned how to take your wife to orgasm, that’s great. But an orgasm doesn’t mean she wanted to have sex or that she enjoyed it. It’s possible her body experienced pleasure and her mind did not.
The other thing to understand is the range of female orgasm is much greater than that of male orgasm. When it’s fantastic, it’s far better than anything you or I will ever experience. But it can also be so minor she may not even be sure she came. If she wanted to be close to you, then a blip orgasm might be okay, but if that’s all she ever gets, then sex won’t be a big deal for her.
This is difficult for men to understand because it’s radically different from what we experience. For us, an orgasm pretty much always means we enjoyed the sex, and our weakest orgasm is still a very pleasurable thing well worth the time and effort.
Knowing how to give your wife an orgasm is an important skill to master. But making sex good for her required more than being able to trigger that reflex.
Image Credit: © krutenyuk | stock.adobe.com
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