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The other day, I saw a reference to a finding from a 2005 Italian study that got a LOT of press when it came out: Having a television in your bedroom cuts your sexual frequency in half. The study authors said, “If there’s no television in the bedroom, the frequency (of sexual intercourse) doubles” and found the situation was even worse for older couples. Now there is the obvious issue of which is cause and which is effect here. I would think couples who have less sex, and couples who have no sex, are more likely to have a TV in their bedroom. So, I see other explanations for the correlation. Indeed, better done studies have found televisions have a smaller negative impact on sex. But every study shows some decrease in sex!
So, I do have concerns about a TV in the bedroom. I can certainly see how one spouse could use it as a way to avoid sex. I would say the same thing for cell phones and laptops in the bedroom. In fact, I’m even more concerned about phones and computers because they are far more likely to be used by only one spouse, whereas TV watching is more likely to be a joint activity. I think electronics are sometimes used to avoid intimacy; intimacy of all kinds. Sexologist Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D. has posited much the same, saying, “…sometimes I think we are choosing to be distracted. It’s almost like ‘Let’s watch TV so we do not have to talk.’”
If you have a good relationship and a good sex life, I don’t think electronics in your bedroom are going to keep you from having sex. You can have sex before TV, after TV, during (especially if it’s not live, and you can pause) or instead of TV. (J discussed this recently in her post Must Your Bedroom Be a Love Den.) However, if you’re having trouble being intimate, be it with sex or any other form of intimacy, a no devices in the bedroom rule seems like a marriage positive choice.
[This post first appeared June 2, 2012.]
Image Credit: © Elnur | stock.adobe.com
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