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Lori knows a woman who says, “I love sex. But I have zero desire for it.” Apparently she has never felt sexual desire before foreplay causes physical arousal. But she has learned that her husband knows how to get her going, and that she will greatly enjoy what follows.
But here’s the thing. I don’t think her loving sex is all about knowing it will result in pleasure. That may be why she is all about sex, but she wouldn’t feel that way if her husband were unloving, uncaring, selfish, or otherwise failing to care for her well.
The same is usually true for a woman who does have a sex drive. Few women crave sex enough to want it with a husband who is not meeting their non-sexual needs. In fact, women with high drives married to men who don’t care for them well often end up masturbating. Sex without a good relationship is not something women generally desire.
If your wife is not all about sex, odds are the fix has nothing to do with what you do in bed. If she feels cherished by you, desire isn’t necessary. If she doesn’t feel cherished, desire isn’t enough.
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I would encourage husbands to ask their wives how they function, not take something a rando Lori knows as the absolute truth. Women aren’t monoliths.
Simply being cherished doesn’t override an individual woman’s unique physiology. And cherishing without respect is absolutely meaningless.
Having sex when your body does not respond is not pleasant. Feeling desire is absolutely important for many women.
@Denise – Rando? Really?
Of course, the man has to know how his wife’s body works. Which is why I said, “her husband knows how to get her going”.
Many women don’t usually feel desire until sex starts, and some never do. If they applied what works for you, they would never have sex.
“If she feels cherished by you, desire isn’t necessary. If she doesn’t feel cherished, desire isn’t enough.” I love this line and it hit the spot on! Elevate your game plan, gentlemen.