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Recently, over on Quora, someone did a drive by shooting on an answer I made about Christians and masturbation. Rather than dealing with the facts, they told everyone I was just justifying my sin.
Not the case. In thirty-eight years of marriage, I’ve done it less than 38 times. This decade, once. Always with Lori’s awareness, and usually at her suggestion. When I travelled more, and we were apart for more than a night or two, she would encourage it, and sometimes suggest how she could be in my mind as I did.
But this post is not about defending my doing something I think is perfectly acceptable to God. This is about truth. I’ve received the same accusation after defending sex acts I’ve never done. Folks who want to tell everyone that certain sex acts are wrong are often more interested in attacking those who oppose them than presenting scriptural evidence. Or they talk about lust and self-control without showing how what they oppose is either of those things.
God told us not to have sex with those who have the same plumbing we have. He told us not to have sex with animals. And when He told us not to have sex with relatives, He gave us a list, so there would be no doubt. Clearly, God is willing and able to tell us what we should not do sexually. So if you or anyone else feels a need to add to that list, my question is why? Did God miss something? Does He need us to help Him out?
If you personally feel some sex act is not good, don’t do it. If you feel a need to tell other it’s bad when God didn’t, don’t do it! God told us to approach sex with intoxicated abandon. (cf Proverbs 5:18-19 & SS 5:1)
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MIght be good to point out the historic reason that many think masturbation is out of line; it is because those who do it generally have, per Matthew 5:27-8, an image of a woman in mind to whom they are not married. So at the very least, if someone is married and is thinking of his wife, and is not depriving her by self-pleasuring, it would be acceptable.
Little more complicated for the single, I’d guess. But if they’re able to do that without thinking of anyone, I guess that wouldn’t be horribly out of line, either.