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Last month I told you that Good Sex Takes More Than An Erection. Today, the female side of that. Many men go into marriage with what I call the dipstick mentality; if you put your finger in and she’s wet, she’s good to go.
There are several problems with this.
Vaginal lubrication is an early part of sexual arousal:
Lubrication starts pretty quickly once good stimulation occurs. So she can seem plenty wet before her body is ready to be comfortably penetrated. What’s more, most women need foreplay for a while after they are wet to be able to climax.
Some women are always wet, some never are, and most vary:
Some women need to wear a light day pad all the time to avoid making wet spots in their clothing. Others are barely damp when they are past ready for sex. What’s more, a woman who is not on hormonal birth control will have varying degrees of wetness during her cycle. Women on hormonal birth control tend to be drier all the time. All of this means a certain degree of wetness could mean different things for different women, or the same woman at different times.
If your wife never gets very wet, odds are it’s her body. Get a good quality artificial lube and don’t be stingy with it.
Wetness is about her body, not her mind:
A woman’s body and mind don’t always sync in terms of arousal. So her body could be ready to go while she’s nowhere near ready mentally. Or she could be all in mentally, but her body needs time to catch up.
Throw out the dipstick, and check the gauges:
In other words, let your wife tell you where she is. And please, please, don’t try to tell her she is aroused because she’s wet! Trust me when I say that’s not going to go well for you.
By the way, a few extra minutes of foreplay can mean the difference between her easily having a great orgasm and struggling to have a poor one, or not coming at all. Give her all the time she wants, no matter how wet she is.
Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash
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