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Over on The XY Code, I regularly mention the importance of having “enough” sex. I’ve also said you can’t have quality without quantity. And I stand by that. However…
Pursing quantity without any regard for quality is not good for your sex life or your marriage. I realise when you’re getting a fraction of what you need, it’s easy to see any sex as better than nothing. But I doubt that’s really true for us as men, and I know it’s not true for women. When you focus too much on quantity, sex becomes something your wife doesn’t want.
On the other hand, when you work for both quantity and quality, your wife will be more likely to enjoy the sex you have, and long term that could mean having sex more often.
One way to do both is to make some sex all about quality for both of you, while other times it’s simpler and just for you. Explain to your wife that it’s easier for you to focus on quality when you are not feeling it’s been too long. Occasional quickies or handjobs can make the rest of what you do far better for both of you.
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