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Lori and I recently watched all three seasons of The Chosen. I find much of how they told the story improbable, but I didn’t have significant theological problems with it. But I did take issue with the marriage advice a Roman solider gave to Simon Peter. He said, “I’m was wrong, I’m sorry” was a phrase a husband should use often.
Now, I’m all for apologising when we’re wrong. Frankly, I don’t think it’s optional if we’re trying to follow the teachings of Jesus. But all too frequently I hear people, including Christians, suggest a husband should do this when he has no idea why is wife is upset. Or even worse, when he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
A woman with half a brain will quickly figure out her husband is using this as a get out of jail free card. If she finds that condescending, he has a problem. If she accepts it because it means she gets her own way, then he has a much bigger problem.
When you mess up, be quick to admit that. Apologise, and ask if there is something you can do to make it up to her. But when you don’t think you were wrong, lovingly hold your ground. A discussion about how she feels and why is an excellent plan, and if that leads to you realising you could have done better, great. But don’t give empty apologies just to keep the peace. Or to improve your odds of having sex!
Photo by mark tulin on Unsplash
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This is what I found to be helpful. There are times that the best thing to do is to ask your wife what is wrong and listen to what she says without judgement. Keeping your mouth shut and not offering an explanation is the best way. It may surprise you. If she knows you are truly listening to understand that may be all that is necessary. She may be just having a bad day. Of course if you discover you have done something wrong, then and only then, apologize.
Just some thoughts here.
^WISDOM^
Great advice.