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On Friday’s I run a post from the past. I am currently working from April of 2012. Back then, my life was a lot busier. I was working a forty hour a week job, we were not yet taking a Sabbath rest every week, and I was posting every day of the week. When I look at what I wrote back then, I can see that my busyness was hurting post quality. Some of what I did was great, some was good, and some really looks like filler. I recall having times when I struggled for ideas, and didn’t always give posts the time needed to do them well. This last Friday, I went through four dozen posts before I found one I felt was worth doing again. And even then, I added some content that should have been included the first time.
To be honest, there were times I was phoning it in. I didn’t have the time and energy required to do it well.
So, let me ask you, are you ever guilty of phoning it in with your wife? Or perhaps a better question would be, “How often do you phone it in with your wife?”.
When we have too much to do, we can’t do all of it well. This forces us to pick and choose. Usually everything suffers, with a few things suffering a great deal. And since we can’t short change our job much, and don’t think our friends will put up with it, all too often we short change our marriage. We tell ourselves our wife will understand. Perhaps she would be understanding if it happened on rare occasions for short periods of time, but when it happens regularly it tells her she’s not really important.
The other danger here is that what you cut back on in your marriage will be the things that are the least essential to you, not what is least important to your wife. If your wife sees that you are giving 95% as much to sex, and half as much to a number of things she cares about, how do you think that makes her feel? Might that explain why she thinks you only care about sex?
Of course, the only real fix is to be less busy. But as you work towards that, be aware of who and what you’re short-changing, and what doing that communicates. Also, work to give your wife the things she most wants and needs.
A post worth reading:
PsyPost | Greedy people have more money but are less satisfied with their lives, according to new study ◄ Pretty sure the Bible tells us this!
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Not saying it’s right, just saying it can also be due to the effort is not worth the result.
I.E. doing your best isn’t met with appreciation.
If doing your best work doesn’t net appreciation, there is a strong incentive against putting in that effort for little to no results.
We wish love was unconditional, but unless we are God or in a parent/child relationship, love, especially romantic love is very much conditional.
If ones efforts at meeting their spouses needs go unappreciated and asking to talk about it just results in stonewalling, one can expect those efforts to soon be phoned in, or ended all together.
Therefore, it’s not just being busy, it can be because it is unfruitful.
@Tony – Of course that’s usually a chicken and the egg thing with both spouses thinking the other started it.