Podcast: Download
Subscribe RSS
A couple of times recently, my pastor has said, “you either structure for growth or control” – something he read in his school work. I think the idea is both true and important. And I think it’s valid in marriage.
If you want your wife to grow, you can’t be controlling. And if you want to control her, she can’t grow very much.
I think this is why I’ve always had a problem with how many have taught complementary headship. Regardless of the intention, it becomes all about control, and that means the wife can’t change and grow. That’s a problem because God expects us to change and grow, and a healthy marriage requires it. Hardline complementarianism hurts women and marriages. Headship is not about control, and it’s certainly not about limiting or preventing growth.
Of course, our human nature is to want control. Control feel safe. We think if we’re in control, we can’t get hurt. But the truth is, trying to be in control means our marriage can’t experience the kind of change and growth that makes it become better for both husband and wife.
So ask yourself honestly, are you trying to control your wife or your marriage too much? Are you unhappy or having issues because of this? Are you setting yourself up for a major blow up or even a divorce?
A post worth reading:
Honeycomb & Spice | Let’s Ditch Doggy Style ◄ It’s not the position that’s the problem…
Image Credit: © Anussara | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
Leave a Reply