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I often see men wishing their wife was more like Mary Ann, or Ginger. Make that Penny or Amy if you’re younger than I. What they really want is part of each of those women, mixed in to replace parts of their own wife they find less than perfect. They want a build-your-own-wife-kit so they can pick and choose the “best parts” from all the “available models”.
We need to understand people are a package deal, and their “parts” are not interchangeable and can’t be separated. Some of what you like about your wife comes from the same roots as something you don’t like. Changing something you don’t like would likely change parts you do like.
For example, we all understand the idea of a “high maintenance wife”. If you want a woman who’s always glamorous, you’re probably going to end up with a woman who is fairly high maintenance. If what you get is worth what it costs you, great. However, if you want the “good” without the “bad”, you can forget it.
Another example – I knew a woman who let everyone know she was giving her husband (of many years) daily (or more often) sex. Many men were deeply jealous. What these men did not see was what it cost; what was not being done and what she expected to get away with because of all the sex. In the end, her husband was not happy with the package deal, and I can’t imagine any man who would have been.
As you try to help your wife become more like God wants her to be, realise no part of who she is can be isolated and changed without changing other parts.
[This post first appeared Mar 26, 2012.]
Photo by Caleb Mays on Unsplash
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This reminds me of something that happened in high school. A boy whose locker was just a few down from mine opened his locker door and I could see what he had taped to the inside. He had cut out various women’s body parts he liked best that he found in magazines and taped them together on his locker door in some collage form of “franken-babe.” It was a collection of what he considered to be the sexiest body parts of various women, but put together, it was grotesque.