Sexual Workarounds

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If you have a visceral reaction to the word workaround, I apologise. It’s a good concept that has been abused and overused.

A workaround is a way of getting around a problem rather than fixing the issue. If the issue can’t be fixed, or can’t be fixed right now, then a workaround is better than doing nothing.

I’ve helped a number of couples with sexual workarounds. More recently, Lori and I got to experience that first hand. Her degenerating uterine fibroid made sex iffy for a while. Then surgery and recover made for more of the same. We did plenty of workarounds, and at one point I wasn’t sure we would ever get back to what we had before. But we’re both all about workarounds, so we kept being sexual.

In order to come up with sexual workarounds, you have to expand your definition of sex. If putting it in her and thrusting till you’re both satisfied is your definition of sex, any number of issues could make sex impossible for you. How about this definition:

Sex: Any intimate activity that results in emotional and sexual pleasure, and orgasm(s) as desired.

There’s a lot of room for workarounds in that definition. Thinking of it that way means lying side by side or head to foot and watching each other masturbate would be sex.

You don’t have to penetrate her for it to be sex. In fact, you don’t even need an erection for it to be sex. With a bit of practice, she can stimulate your unerect penis to climax. If she can’t handle thrusting, but you both like how it feels when you’re inside her, then she could lower herself onto you and remain still. Afterwards, you could bring each other to orgasm with your hands or mouths.

Workarounds can also be about finding a different position. If she can’t be on her back, then try rear entry, possibly with some pillows under her tummy for support. If you have back issues, you could have her lie on the edge of the bed so you could enter her standing. You might have to get creative to get the height right, but where there’s a will… 

Time of day is another possible workaround target. If you can only get a good erection in the morning, then morning it is. If one of you is usually too tired by bedtime, then you need to aim for afternoon or evening. Maybe you have to put a sleeping bag on the floor because the bed announces sex to the entire neighbourhood. And plenty of workarounds include a lot of lube or a good vibrator.

Finally, you don’t both have to come every time you have sex. You should each do so as often as you like, but it’s okay for either of you to take a pass now and then. In fact, if you do something and neither of you has an orgasm, it’s still sex by the definition I gave.

Sometimes workarounds are temporary things to keep you having sex while there is healing or a fix is found. Other times, the workaround becomes the new normal. Either way, the workaround means you’re still having sex!

A post worth reading:

Good Vibes on Quora | Sometimes love is a chicken cutlet ◄ Guys, this is how it’s done!

Image Credit: © Elnur | stock.adobe.com
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