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A couple of years into our marriage, I realised we were having the same struggles and arguments over and over. We would work though it, and move on to something else. But months later we would be back where we started. Once I became aware of it, I saw there was a predictable pattern. We were cycling through the same dozen or so things over and over. We might skip one or two in a cycle, or switch two up, but there was very much a cycle.
Seeing this, I realised the progress I thought we were making was an illusion. We were playing whack-a mole, and while we were getting faster, we were not making real progress.
A big part of the issue was we never fully deal with most things. We worked at them, and felt we had some clarity, but then we got distracted by the next thing in the cycle. The solution to this was to stick with something until we really worked through it and found a way to avoid doing it again. Of course, that’s not an easy thing when the old issue seems better and a new one is screaming in your face. But developing the discipline to work all the way through a problem is the only way to change things.
If you realise you keep dealing with the same things over and over, decide it’s time to put an end to that. If you can’t do it on your own, get some help.
A post worth reading:
the art of non-conformity | This Year, Give Up on Your Dreams ◄ Interesting idea…
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