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The holidays can be difficult for women and especially for mothers of preteen children. So your wife could probably use your help in a number of ways this next week.
Get in the habit of asking “What needs to be done?” and then jump to it when she indicates something you can do.
BTW, if you carry this habit into the New Year, I doubt she will complain!
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Even better if you don’t ask your wife “what needs to be done?” but just look around and figure it out for yourself 😉
@Tory- Sure. But isn’t it better if he asks and you can have him do what most needs doing rather than something else?
Because 9 times out of 10 – even though I try mightily to put myself in her shoes – what she thinks is a priority and what I think is a priority are wildly different.
For example… she’ll say “This room is a mess!” I look around and literally don’t see what’s messy about it. When I ask what she means she’ll point out something like “there’s dog hair in the corner” or “the pillows aren’t in the right place on the couch.” Things that completely fly under my radar as something that needs to be fixed. Again, I’m trying to see things through her eyes, but it just eludes me.
@Tom – Thanks for the example!
Asking “What needs doing” means you will address her priorities.
Yes! And surely he can figure out “what most needs doing” by being an active partner in his own home and family, by being present and aware, without needing to be told by his wife? 😉
@Tory – Hey, I’m fighting for you here. If he’s doing this, he doesn’t need this post. If he’s not, this is a starting place.
@Paul— I don’t disagree with you! It’s great when a husband offers to help out. And it is even better when he is able to look around and see what needs to be done without asking his wife like she’s the project manager—“ ok, the dishes are piled high, the baby is crying, the dog needs to go out, there’s laundry needing to be folded and put away, the trash bag is full, I’ll get on that.” (I will say I’m speaking from a background where both my husband and I have always worked outside the home. A man with a stay-at-home wife may need more coaching since he might see the home as “her” domain.) Again, not arguing with your suggestion. Just adding an observation on how to take it “next level” :-)