Podcast: Download
Subscribe RSS
You have probably heard it said that familiarity breeds contempt. The expression goes back to ancient Rome and has been repeated for centuries.
There is truth to this, sometimes, but there is another effect that familiarity can have. My Christmas music playlist has over two hundred pieces. Some I’ve listed to for decades, others only a few years. Ten years ago when I listed some great Christmas music, a reader suggested I check out Snow Angels by Over The Rhine. I liked what I heard, and bought it. I added most but not all of it to my playlist, and have enjoyed it every year since.
Then this spring I moved to an Ubuntu system, and while I could move my music, I could not move my playlists. So when it was time for Christmas tunes I tossed everything I had into a playlist and started weeding out what I didn’t want. In doing this, I came across three Over The Rhine pieces I had rejected a decade ago. But now I liked them. I had grown accustomed to the style of their music and the singer’s voice, and I liked these pieces now because of that. So familiarity had bred enjoyment, not contempt.
What I explained here is called the mere-exposure effect. Psychologists have found that people tend to develop a preference for things they’re familiar with. Basically, we show an increased liking for stimuli we’re repeatedly exposed to. This happens with images, faces, words, music, art, advertising, and people. Generally, the more time you spend with someone, the more likeable you find them. What you do together isn’t nearly as important as being together.
Of course, there are things that can oppose the mere-exposure effect, but it’s a powerful part of how God made us. It’s good news for your marriage because it means just being together causes you and your wife to grow closer. Unless you are doing things that offend or upset her, being with her helps your marriage. This is why I keep harping on shared time; it’s good for your marriage!
A post worth reading:
The Decision Lab | Why do we prefer things that we are familiar with? ◄ More on the mere-exposure effect.
Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
Leave a Reply