Face Your Fear

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I’ve been anxious about our year-end giving for most of the month. And, of course, I use to word anxious because it sounds better than saying fearful. But it made no sense for me to feel this way. Donations are a bit slower than usual, but ever since Covid that is the new norm and every year it’s fine. So I just keep pushing it aside.

Then a few days ago Lori was listening to a podcast, about homesteading of all things, which God used to get me to deal with it. The obvious fear is “We won’t be able to pay our bills!” But that’s not the issue. I could easily get a job at Home Depot; they have been short-handed for two years, and I have real-world experience they would like. Thirty hours a week there would more than replace what we are looking for in donations. So why was I so uptight?

As I thought and prayed about it, I realised that I am very excited about my upcoming Doing Sex Well course. I think it will make a major difference for some couples and it’s the heart of what I have always wanted to do. I was afraid I would have to get a job and wouldn’t have time to do the course.

Once I had found the real fear, it was easy to put it to rest. When Lori and I started a quarter of a century ago, we didn’t take donations. I worked 35 to 50 hours a week doing landscape and irrigation and we paid the bills for our websites and discussion forum. We started taking donations five or six years in when our costs went up, but we didn’t make money ourselves for the first dozen years.

So I could make Doing Sex Well happen even if I become bivocational again. I would have to cut back on the blogs and probably end the podcasting, but I could pick and choose and do what I think is most important.

I should mention this is not an attempt to manipulate people into donating. I almost didn’t do this post because I don’t want anyone to think that. But I’ve always tried to be honest here about who I am and it felt like I needed to write this for that reason. Additionally, there’s a concept here that is a big deal in marriages.

Pushing your fear away won’t make it go away and the situation might get far worse if you don’t face it. If your wife seems distant, upset, or mad, you need to face it. Best case you are seeing something that is not there or is not as big as your fear has made it. Worse case you find out there is a major problem, but then you know and can deal with it. If you keep denying and hiding you may be forced to face it when she asks for a divorce.

As for donations, I’d rather not drive into Home Depot several times a week. If you feel led to help keep that from happening, click the button below or follow the instructions for mailing something.

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