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It seems we live in a world that looks down on “different”. Even in so-called “open-minded” circles, only certain differences are tolerated and even fewer are praised.
What about your marriage – are you open to different? Do you and your wife “allow” each other to be unique or do you work to keep each other within certain bounds? I’m not talking about moral issues here, this is about different ways of seeing and doing things.
The great thing about different is it allows you to see things the crowd will never see. Different sees ideas, beauty, and innovation others miss. Different sees a way to solve a problem others can’t solve. When we discourage different we reduce society; when we encourage different we enrich society. In marriage it’s the same way; encouraging your wife where she’s different enriches your marriage. But limiting her limits your marriage in many ways.
By the way, this one is a bit personal to me. I’m a bit eccentric. Actually, I’m a bit more than a bit eccentric. Early in our marriage, Lori was often embarrassed by/for me or concerned about how I might be perceived. I fully understand why she felt this way. However, she didn’t stay embarrassed or concerned; she grew to accept and love my oddities. She still warns me if she thinks I’m going to offend or hurt others (and I’m deeply grateful for that), but she has given me the amazing gift of acceptance. You can give your wife the same gift if you choose.
[This post first appeared Jan 24, 2012.]
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey Carlisle | Backyard treasures ◄ What are you missing in your own back yard? Or about your wife?
Image Credit: © David Carillet | stock.adobe.com
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My wife and I have had to learn this. She is a perfectionist and there is one way to do things, until I explain how my way isn’t wrong, it is just different. She is much better about now, but for several years it was an underlying tension.
Ah, yes. We’ve had this struggle. We still do from time to time but thankfully we are getting better about it.