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The past is never dead. It’s not even past. ~ William Faulkner in Requiem for a Nun
Faulkner is correct – our past is never really dead. When we try to bury it, it crawls out and comes back like a zombie.
This can be especially difficult in marriage since both husband and wife have a past. That’s twice the potential zombies coming to eat your happy marriage.
The solution to this problem is to come to terms with your past. Confess and repent as needed. Forgive all those who need it, starting by forgiving yourself. Stop beating yourself up about what you did or what you didn’t do that you think you should have done. Use your past as a way of learning how you should behave and do better in the future. If you can’t do this on your own, get help.
If you have things in your past that your wife doesn’t know about and you fear her finding out, deal with it by telling her about those things. It’s much better coming from you than someone else. Be gentle and give her time to process and deal with your past, but get rid of the secrets.
Zombies can’t take the light of day. Deal with them so they stop stalking you and your marriage.
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