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As Lori went through the whole diagnosis, investigation, and surgery associated with her uterus being a real bitch to her, I touched her a great deal.
I touched her hand to comfort her when she was worried. Or I gave her a long hug. I held her and rubbed her back in bed. When she was having a biopsy without anaesthesia and it started to hurt, I moved to where I could hold her hand. And when she came out of anaesthesia after the hysterectomy I held her hand, rubbed her feet, and stroked her arm.
Touch is reassuring and comforting. Studies have shown it reduces pain and speeds healing. And while it’s harder to research, touch does the same for mental and emotional pain.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
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My husband wants to cuddle more, lately. Other than crowding me out of bed, it’s nice. To be honest, I have to force myself to. We’re going through a difficult time because we are so unequally yoked. We used to both be evangelical, but now I’m Catholic and he’s returned to paganism. We have a business I’m sick of running. We have different plans and goals for our income. I want our house fixed up and debt paid off once and for all. He wants to keep pouring money into the business and the equipment. I want our kids to go to church. He’s allowing the teenagers to stay home. I’m not ok with our daughter experimenting in the LGBTQ lifestyle. He is. I’m not ok with our son being very close to sexual with his girlfriend. He is. He doesn’t want to take care of his mother once his dad dies. I believe it is our duty, especially since he is her only child.
We are so at odds, lately, but we maintain cuddling and our marital bed. We can’t see eye to eye, but we can still be cheek to cheek.
@libl – I am so sorry. You have my prayers.
While I can only imagine and try to understand the emotions and challenges you all have faced with this, the language used here does not glorify God and reflect well on your faith. personally, I can struggle with this as well, but I try to stay away from sources that give exposure to my weakness and create more stumbling blocks. Please take this as a loving correction for the betterment of all. Thank you.
@Jen Lewis – There was discussion about my use of that word. It was the way my wife and I referred to her uterus over the last few months – a touch of humour to easy things. Perhaps if I had explained that you would have heard the word differently. Perhaps not. It was an attempt to be honest about the situation.
My apologies for any offence or problems.
I recently finished six rounds of chemo. My marriage is best described by the term “intimacy anorexia”, brought about by years of pornography use. No hand holding. No stroking my arm. No foot rubs. No “I’m sorry you have to deal with this”. Lori is one lucky lady.